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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Time Is a Thief When You're Undecided!

Monz doesn't let anyone, not the anti-beasteaters, not the neuteritionists, not even Rod the Mod Stewart, put him down or push him around or change his point of view: barbequed burgers for Memorial Day lunch. Later, Paradise was closed, so he had a brew in a blissful manner. Happiness was found with a chickenhamcolby sandwich, as expected. When Monz was young he drove his car like a lunatic. And having driven with the Monz, we can definitely say that in our hearts he'll always stay forever young!

Friday, May 27, 2005

Ham It Up!

When we heard about Monz' ham sandwich, our thoughts turned to Moo and Oink(tm), and their ad in today's paper with an elderly couple, which we suspected was supposed to make us think "hey, how could they go to Moo and Oink?", which we suspected was supposed to make us notice their new suburban location, which we sent someone to check out for ourselves...and they didn't return, but we have courage and faith and don't hesitate, like our barbeque king leader. Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Monz 3:13!

(Special shout-out to Brother Feezil!)

1. There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.
9 What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils?
10 I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.
11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.
12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime;
13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor, it is the gift of God, even if it is another chickenhamcheddar sandwhich.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Hammerdown of the Gods!

The editors have noticed a strange marketing phenomena: passing off foodstuffs as holy. The first was the Bible Bar, a PowerBar(tm) substitute ("ironic" - religious editor) which starts from a "recipe" of blessed foods found in Deuteronomy 8:8 wheat, barley, honey, figs, olive oil, grapes and pomegranates. We first encountered the Bible Bar at Trinity College's bookstore. Then the editors were checking out Trader Joe's in anticipation of the big blog aniversery bash and we find Ezekiel 4:9 Sprouted Grain bread. It too takes its cue from a Bible verse, incorporating wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet and spelt. Mmmmmm, spelt! And when we heard that Monz' lunch was the same today as yesterday, we suspect if we asked him how, in light of the above, he would describe his lunch, he would answer "Zeus!"

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

N...and M!

Monz claims he has the cheapest, crappiest chickenham sandwich known to man...from the Jewel. We don't often correct the Monz, but he's not even close (and neither are those bright, clean pictures either).

Today one of our editors awoke early (2:30 AM CST) to discover that Proactive(r) has changed their infomercial. Vanessa Williams remains host, but there are some new celebs, including P-Diddy, who says something about Proactiv(R) being a necessary item on the rider or somesuch. Which prompted us this conversation with the Monz:

"Hey Monz, what do you think of acne?"
"All I can say is whenever the wolf needed it, it was there in a flash."
"Road runner, he always brought the wolf stuff stuff from Acme."
"Oh, no, we meant 'acne.'"
"Like pimples?"
"Miss working and popping them. In fact, I wish..."
"Um, dude, this is going on the blog."
"The tragedy of youth! Oh, I pray that there are better medicines today to ease their pain."

Monday, May 23, 2005


Feeling a wee bit better, Monz dines on chickenhamwich, apple, carrots and water (yogurt to come).

Recently we read CNN Anchor/Golden Child Andersen Cooper say this about the debut Violent Femmes ablum: "I get bored of this very quickly - and a long time will elapse before I listen to it again. But it was my college album. I first heard it there and there was an aggression to it and an in-your-face aspect to it that I really liked. And I really loved the plaintive wailing of the singer. I was on the rowing team at college and I was obsessed with doing that. I was kind of lame."

Now it just so happens that one of the editors knew Monz when he was in college and foisted it upon Monz' ears with great enthusiasm. And he distinctly recalls Monz' contemporaenous reaction. "Eh." In other words, it took Monz about 36 minutes to reach the state Oxford-lad Cooper would arrive at in years. >

Friday, May 20, 2005

Sympathy Blogging!

Ther ferocious illness plaguing the Monz has him down to chicken breast and yougurt. In sympathy, we stand with the Monz and will also conserve our energy until the Monz is back to his vibrant, way-guiding self.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Excuse Us While We Freak!

Monz is ill! He's too sick for anything more than a container of yogurt, if that! And we're freaking out!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Monz Libre!

There are three tragic dates in Cuban history. March 13, 1957 -- a massacre of political leaders which opened the door for Fidel Castro. July 13, 1994 -- a massacre of freedom flee-ers on De Marzo tugboat. February 24, 1996, Cuba's shooting down freedom jets over international waters. And today is a tragic day to, as Monz writes "No lunch for Manz today. I am way to sick to eat. Ugh." Unlike Cuba, we have high hopes for Monz' recovery.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Shiver and Shudder!

How powerful is the cold that rages against the Monz? Powerful enough to keep him from making lunch, opting for two dogs from Jeff's (everything but onions). We haven't been this negatively moved since we were at Starbucks and saw the display hawking "Antigone Rising" -- some marketers idea of the perfect Starbucks band (new agey, all women). Even the lead singer's name ("Cassidy" -- that's it, just "Cassidy") makes us want to take the Weavers' hammer to every David Crosby solo album in existance. (The preceding was an opinion which only reflects the views of the editors and not ncessarily the Monz. But suffice to say if we ever played Monz some David Crosby solo material, there would be a Gram Nashing of teeth...)

Monday, May 16, 2005

Road Warrior!

Monz calls-in from the long road back to Chicago as he was approaching the Indiana line. Lunch was a market fresh sandwich from Arby's -- ham and swiss and turkey bacon club. We would have advised him to go for the chicken salad (with grapes and almonds) but at least he didn't have the Reuben. Monz is a busy man so he's not stopping, but we think a state can be judged by its rest stops. Best we ever saw: California -- you walk through a maze of walls to get to the toilets -- no need to touch a door -- and no need to touch a toilet because they can be flushed by using your foot on a floor pedal. Worst we ever saw: Arkansas -- old, decreptit, maintained by crews with a work ethic worse than Paulie Walnuts on a union job.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Into the Now!
Today's (Sunday)lunch was roast turkey breast sandwich -- not cold cuts, actual roast turkey breast, with cheese, mustard and tomatoes on rye. I also ate salad with Southwestern dressing (the last, alas) and chicken salad. The weather was good and I saved some turkey for the camp cat. In return she posed for some nice pix. The stories I've heard on this trip are amazing, and the licks I've learned will keep me busy for many many weeks. And today I played my arrangement of "Care of Cell 44" for all the other students and instructors and it seemed to go over well. Monday will suck as we have the last lessons in the morning and the long ride home. See you later!
It's sunday morning here in Ohio! Yesterday's lunch was quiche, salad with spicy southwestern dressing and cous-cous. (Dinner was hot tuna with asparagus!) Truly a yummy lunch, and different enough from my normal lunch routine to make me feel like I'm on vacation. The editorial staff returns next week, though Monday's lunch will be another road-lunch. THanks for making this guest-blogging stint a nice experience. Maybe . . . just maybe . . . I'll see you next year!

Friday, May 13, 2005

Tin Soldiers & Nixon's Coming!
Today I am in Ohio enjoy much good music, company and food. Yesterday I was on the road -- lunch was a couple packs of those crappy peanut butter crackers you buy at gas stations. Today, however, well . . . one time zone and a world of difference! Lunch today was delicious grilled chicken, salad with spicy southwestern dressing, brown rice and... dessert! Yes! Desert with LUNCH! Whoa! I had a couple spoonfuls of a banana split which was quite a treat. Stay tuned readers . . . expect MYL to push some boundaries in the near future!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Ouch! Another rough day in court, with no delicious Russell's to assuage it. Just a chicken and ham sandwich on WG bread with an apple, carrots and water. Definitely tasted good going down, but my guts are still churning from this a.m. And tomorrow I'm on the road. If I can get my computer working there'll be a late entry, but at least the food promises to be interesting!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Ouch! A really bad morning in court leads me to my historical downfall: comfort food. I mope out of the courthouse and slunk into my car. I drive down the road and remember one of my favorite places is up ahead and around a corner so I make that snap judgment! I'm there! I pull into the parking lot: it's crowded. It's very hot outside and I notice it isn't much cooler as I wander inside. I wait in line: the lunch crowd is here. I place my order (and order more for dinner!) I wait for the order to be filled. I finally get my order and go back to the car, now jabbering on my cell phone in addition to balancing to big bags of goodness. I drive back to the office: everyone is out and on the road today so it takes a good long time to get there. I slink back into my office and unwrap the succulent goodness of a Russell's barbeque pork sandwich with cole slaw and a baked potato. I clean my plate. I feel nourished for another hell-ride tomorrow (unfortunately at a courthouse far from any of my favorite restaurants!)

Monday, May 09, 2005


I wanted to rest and recharge the old blog-batteries, but it was not to be. I had a lot of work to do and wound up more tired now than usual. To the rescue, however, comes a ham and chicken (from Jewel) sandwich on whole grain bred, some carrots, an apple and some water! I've got more to do this afternoon so I'm off!

Friday, May 06, 2005


Last night's dinner was very good, but left me bloated and in distress. Today's lunch was a chicken sandwich, apple, carrots and water. Typically yummy. Things brings an end to the first week of guest blogging. I'm happy to say I've heard from one of the editors who is in good health and enjoy the blog-battery-recharge he's experiencing. I have highter hopes for next week's guest-blogging.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Reading is Fun . . . damental!

Lunch today was a chicken sandwich on whole grain bread, carrots, a spoonful of black bean salad and an apple. I like this lunch -- it is very filling and tasty. The book I'm reading these is days is This One. I'm not a huge fan of the band, but I like that scene and the author is really a good, engaging writer. The story is compelling, even though I know how it ends, and some of my fave musicians show up in bit parts throughout the story. I can't put it down, which is going to make dinner tonight with one of the old "brothers" and our wives difficult.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Beware of the Hat!

I just want to let all the readers know that the usual editors of MYL have not contacted me since I started guest-blogging. I don't know if they've even read these last few posts. Which reminds me -- back in the day, when we were driving around, we lived by one very important piece of advice: Beware of the Hat!!! This meant that if we were driving behind someone and noticed a particular type of old-man-style hat peeking out just barely above the headrest, do everything you can to get away! As I was driving to work this morning I noticed that this was great advice in the 80's, but there are very few hat wearing bad drivers these days. I guess that age group is dying off . . . anyway, the number of bad drivers has not decreased. We need a new cliched paradigm to guide on the roads these days! Any help is appreciated.

Lunch is a chicken and ham sandwich on whole grain bread with carrots, black bean salad and an apple. It was yummy.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Coffee with a Dash of . . . CREAM!

Well, I'm still tired from yesterday's shenanigans. But not too tired to wake up early and make my lunch! Today I dined on a Ham and chicken sandwich (on whole grain bread), Black bean salad, and an apple. It's only my second day of guest-blogging and I'm already understanding, all too well, the editor's stress of dealing a rather ubiquitous lunch. All I can say is, I'm starting to be able to fit in all the clothes I haven't been able to for a while. Summer is starting to be appealing!
So . . . to make up for the lack of lunch variety, I'm gonna out my inner high-school geek and tell you all that I am interesting in seeing the BBC's new Dr. Who series! The publicity looks kinda cool! Do with that what you will . . . until manana!

Monday, May 02, 2005

We Are Here To Go!

Hello again. Today I begin my guest-blogging as the editors take a well-deserved vacation. Some of you readers may be tempted to think that this is all a sham: there ARE NO editors and this is really some vanity-blog where some dude records his own lunch. I assure you that this is not the case. If you need more proof, just keep reading over the course of my guest-blogging stint and you will see with your own eyes that my blogging skills pale in comparison to the regular staff at MYL.
On to business: today I will be dining on the road on my way to an afternoon court date. I did make my own lunch again -- it is a smoked chicken and ham sandwich on Whole Grain bread, and an apple, which I'll eat in the car. No carrots on the road, and when court is over and I go home, I'll cap it all off with some yogurt!

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