<$BlogRSDUrl$> < ? chicago blogs # >

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Sodd Runtlestuntle Yummy Lunch!

One More Day, No Word.

UPDATE: Would Monz let us down? Of course not. Corned Beef on Rye.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

If You Believe They Put a Man on the Moon!

Then you'll believe that Monz didn't check-in with his lunch today (and that we're annoyed so we used a song we suspect he doesn't like, but then again we were wrong on the solo Crosby...). Hopefully he's having too much fun here.

UPDATE: "Lunch was blackened catfish at Scales,an interesting restaurant here. It was very spicy and good, though not yummy. The cole slaw was one of the most frightening dishes I've ever eaten. We'll be going there again."

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Zero Hour!

As Monz prepares to embark on a road trip (gulp!), he surprises us by lunching-up a Peperidge Farm chicken pot pie. CPP is the editors' favorite comfort food, and Peperidge Farm makes a good one (though we think Swanson provides the biggest bang for the buck, and we miss PF's grandpa on the commercials). A homemade version is a favorite of hipsters Monz would mock. Anyway, the editors would like to add that they tried Coke Zero for the first time today and believe that if they can come up with a decaf version it will be the salvation of aspertame.

Monday, June 27, 2005

David Lee Roth Solo Yummy Lunch!

Eatin' steady in his car
Got the stereo with the big guitars
and that's all right (all right)

He got the itch for a Chicken McGrill
But it was so empty he wished for a lunch pill
And that's not right (not right)

Monz has been meant for this
Since he was born
A beast adventure awaits
It's just the calm before the storm

Monz ought to try eating at Paradise
And he won't want to go home
Exceptional burger at a fair price
But 40 minute Saturday wait means bring your phone

For cryin' out loud

Friday, June 24, 2005


1.5 (colby).

The editors have learned of an outrageous practice that most American conserumers are not aware of: interent merchants frequently charge different prices to different customers for the same products. Businesses are quietly collecting data on whether a customer is an "agressive bargain hunter" -- ironically they give loyal sheep better deals than first-time/possible one-timers. In other words, visit epinions and you're on a list! Thus we suggest bargain shopping on Mozilla and ordering on IE, or vice-versa. (The preceding was an editorial comment which does not necessarily reflect the views of the Monz on disparate internet pricing or Mozilla).

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Pass the Baton!

1.5 turkey sandwiches on tiny wholegrain bread.

Recently one of the editors was doing some professional research, when he came across that person which best personifies the anti-Monz, someone whose musical quivering and untasty dining plausibly makes him this blog's enemy. This individual was "passed the baton" and asked to answer some music related questions, which after an excruciatingly long essay he did:

The Last CD I Bought:
I'll translate this to 'last album download'. That would be Kenna's New Sacred Cow.

Song Playing Right Now:
Round Here by the Counting Crows (It came up on iTunes random play)

Five Songs I Listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me:

Cry of a Tiny Babe by Bruce Cockburn
Unsung Psalm by Tracy Chapman
All Blues by Miles Davis
You Don't Know Me by Ali Lefevre (made popular by Ray Charles)
Old '55 by Tom Waits

We needed a corrective and in a hurry, so we asked the Monz, who responded:

>>Last CD: Choose Love by Ringo Star
What's Playing: nothing: WXRT is on (i.e., commercials)
Five Songs:

"Money City Maniacs" by Sloan
"Kick out the Jams" by the MC5
"Pictures of Matchstick Men" by Status QUo
"World Shut Your Mouth" by Julian Cope
"Eight Miles High" by the Byrds <<


Wednesday, June 22, 2005

You'd Be Surprised!

Monz has a turkey subway, from Subway(tm), on whole wheat, with black olives and other Jared(tm?)-approved condiments. Ho-hum you say? Not at all -- after a manly prove-up at the DuPage county courthouse that makes Jeffrey Leving look like a sufragette in comparison, Monz stops at the new tollway oasis circa O'Hare. The editors once visited this oasis and quite liked it, though they don't think it was worth the years of bladder discomfort tollway drivers endured waiting for it's delayed construction.

Yesterday the editors imaginary 70's friend took them out to the ballgame. "The Cell," a comfortable if nondescript ballpark, is known for its food and we indeed found the kosher hotdogs, fresh sliced corn and peanuts quite tasty. But for $6.50, we expect a vodka lemonade that has more punch than those fake Jack Daniels/Jim Beam fruit flavored things you find at the grocery store next to the wine coolers. And trust us, next time, we're kicking the ancient rotarian conventironers out of our seats! But that Podsednick is the real deal...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


Today Monz is lunching on a turkey sandwich. Apparently we understated the specialness of these turkey sandwiches, as they are handmade by Monz using fresh whole grain bread, quality not-so-big-chain turkey and other wholesome ingredients. And the apple is reportedly spectacular. Nontheless, we exhorted the Monz to try one of the current specials at the Editors' Choice (see link on right). Now when you are talking to one so well-read, well-versed and well-opined as the Monz, you never know where the conversation will lead. In this case it lead to a discussion of the American labor movement and Wazmo Nariz. Waz Who?!?! Back in the heydey of Chicago's first indie scene, when names like Bohemia and the Slammin' Watusis made an impression on those of us who were impressionable, Waz was a hot property and had a demi-semi hit with "Checking Out the Checkout Girl." Today he is best remembered for his fashion gimick of wearing two neckties. Longtime readers will know which party knew their dead union mobsters and which knew their local music giantettes.

Monday, June 20, 2005

So Soo Me!

While Monz lunches on a pedestr...er, sumptious turkey sandwich, the editors will report their culinary findings from last week's trip to Sault Ste. Marie. As per last year, the first stop was for dinner at Antlers for, what else?, beast! A steak smothered in onions and mushrooms, overlooking the St. Mary River and our overseas destination. It was stupendiously aged and broiled. The next morning we stopped for the first time at a Sault legend -- Ernie's Coffee House. Whenever the editors are in the Sault they receive a random act of kindness. In this case it was free hash browns, and they were yummy! We skipped lunch to head out into the Lake Superior / Algoma Canyon backwoods wilderness, later to return to the Soo for a showing of Batman Begins. We aren't going to comment except that we suspect that our reactions will be appearing on a related blog in the near future. Then we walked the mall and did some cunnuck book shopping. We were going to buy a copy of Sloan's A-Sides Win for Monz, but couldn't get in contact with him to see if he wanted the DVD-less copy we found. Then it was off to Docks for some maple roasted chicken. Every time we are in Canada we discover some new maple flavored foodstuff. Not the chicken -- we'd had that before -- but this (you have to hunt for it). We also had heard about Burger King's Canadian Whopper(tm) -- a whopper with Canadian (they say "peameal") bacon and "Canadian cheddar cheese" so we got one of those and encountered the first unpleasant person we'd ever met in the Soo. It was the manager, who was a bald, mustashed, thin, short, twitchy man who kept chastising the staff for too much friendy banter or not meeting the time-motion limits for getting the food to the editors (2 minutes). It got so annoying that one of the editors motioned the guy over and told him a sad story of getting sick at a Chicago fast food establishment for undercooked meat and warning him that if the same thing every happened here he would rue the day he put time ahead of fire broiling. We took a couple of bites but were too stuffed to finish, plus it was a step-down from the American whopper. Back to the brew: we combined a couple of bottles with some Canadian Whiskey (honestly), turned on the Canadian hotel tube and got sloshed. The next morning we did some grocery shopping and our usual breakfast routine: McDonald's for an American bacon Egg McMuffin (tm) and Canadian McDonald's coffee (eh) and Tim Hortons for some maple donuts, a walnut role (mmmmm) and coffee (eh). For the first time since 9/11 customs did not check our trunk -- two questions and a "see ya later."

For lunch the editors made a detour that brought back the Monzeries: Grand Rapids and the Gaia Cafe, a vegetarian resturant that Monz could not partake in because 1) he was Atkising and 2) he had other lunch plans. We ordered their famous vegtable hash and immediately wished Monz could be there to enjoy it. The garlic! The onions! The brocoli! The cauliflower! The cabage! The...you get the idea. We implore the Monz to take his family to see this wonder of the Midwest.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Grappling With Demons!

Chickenhamcolby on whole grain, carrots, and a grapple. Yes, that's [sic] - a grapple -- an apple that not only is purported to taste like a grape, it does taste like a grape! We know this because Monz tells us so, and his stamp of approval and vow of a repeat purchase makes us want to try one too.

Alas, this will have to wait, as the editors will be on a delayed spring sabatical the next two days. In fact, the editors were making some last-minute travel purchases and have this wee bit of advice: when going to the CVS in the South Loop by Cal's Liquors, avoid the sidewalk by Cal's Liquors, or you'll be grappling with the effects of a different kind of grape. Back blogging Monday!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Can't You See We're Burning, Burning?!

Mark Monz, a lahwyah and a dahktah, and if you think that's stretching the truth, tough! If that isn't enough, Monz made himself a delicious sandwich from whole grain bread out of some chicken, ham and colby cheese. Condiments? No, but there were carrots and an apple.

Monday, June 13, 2005

The Verdict Is In!

Yes, yes, we know it's a serious matter which legions of people have followed. Still, we can't believe so many people spend so much time worrying about the verdict...over whether Monz' lunch was yummy! Ok, just joshing -- actually, the editors are actually kinda bummed that the Sun-Times has just dropped their second favorite comic strip without comment, even though they have run it for decades. But we digress -- Monday => (if not =) chickenhamcheddar from Jewel.


Here's our verdict: Posers!

Friday, June 10, 2005

They Ought to Know!

A full-page ad in today's New York Times did not ring true to our ears. To make it better comport with reality, the editors propose the following, um, edits, appearing in brackets below.

In 1995 [2003], diary experpts [lunch reports] were turned into songs [blog entries]

Feathres were ruffled.

Stereotypes crumbled.

Minds and hearts alike were opened.

A spokeswoman [spokesman] was born.

Ten [two] years later, Alanis Morissette [Mark Monz]

honors the album that paved

the way for a generation of

female artists [human beings] with an all-new

accoustic studio recording [more lunches].

[Father and Sons Pizza, though Monz reports he will never have them again after today "and that's a victory!"]

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Monz Is In the House!

The China House that is! Yes, the pre-China-Chef destination of Monz lunches of yore, where Monz orders some lod nar. Wait, you say. "Lod Nar is a Thai dish!" No diggity! And like Chinese leftovers, if you like the way Monz works it, you gotta bag it up!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Listen Kid We've Heard It Before!

This morning the MYL mechanical engineering editor was making his daily inspection of the plumbing equipment when he came across The Rock Snob's Dictionary. Taking a moment to flip through this tome, something caught his eye. Listed with several "new Beatles" which he was aware of (Badfinger, Klaatu) was a band called Pilot. No further information was given. Turning the matter over to our crack researchers, we learned that Pilot was a Scottish one-hit wonder in the states, with the smash-hit "Magic' ("woah, woah, woah, it's magic, you know, never believe it's not so"). Apparently in the U.K. they were a two hit wonder. But does this really qualify as a "new Beatle"? Klaatu had the mystique, Badfinger had the hits. We obliquely asked Monz and found they rate so low on the true Beatle fan's list, they are indistinguishable from Ambrosia.

The editors immediately ceased and desisted from any further research. Chicken/sharp-cheddar/no-ham sandwich on a French roll. But we add this trivia note -- one of the co-authors of this tome was the drummer for a band that many years ago Monz municificently acquired a CD of in London at our request.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

The Only Way to Balance the Terror of Eating Lunch with the Wonder of Eating Lunch!

Men have been lunchers since the beginning of time and every man has his lunching side. But social forces pressure many to repress this part of themselves. They unconsciously substitute a distorted shadow of the healty lunch energy so essential to sustaining individual and communal balance. The New Luncher is a man who has confronted this destricutive "diet-tish" form and has achieved hard-won ownership of a yummy lunch. The New Luncher likes meat that is at once tough and loving, wild and gentle, fierce and tolerant. He eats passionately and compassionately, because he has learned to face his own shadow and to eat his lunch with integrity and without apology. Remember that when you learn that Monz went to Russells for a delicious bbqwich feast!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Ooops, We Did It Again!


The editors wanted to relay their enthusiastic approval of last week's "Hit Me Baby One More Time" show. We loved it! First, these were all happy stories -- no fame-to-drugs-to-rock-bottom-to-"now back and better than ever!"-VH1 crapola here. These are folks who were smart enough not to blow through all their $$$ back in the 80's and early 90's and now can live semi-comfortably without needing to do much work. We especially liked the Flock of Seagulls dude, who took his money to buy a small house on a Florida river so he could spend the rest of his life with his wife boating. And we loved the over-the-top-mop-topped British host. And all the bands sounded good and cracked self-mocking jokes. But we were particularly impressed with Arrested Development. They still have the old dude! They did an amazing cover of "How Far Is Heaven" -- keeping the basic tune but totally reworking it to make it their own. And the audience, to our amazement, voted them best! And they chose a Darfur relief fund for their charity!

Thus, we decided to get Monz' feedback on the featured bands.

MYL: "Hey Monz, did you see 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'?
M: "Afraid not."
MYL: "Oh, well, what do you think of Tiffany?"
M: "Uhewlllll!"
MYL: "A Flock of Seaguls?"
M: "Heh heh heh."
MYL: "What does that mean?"
M: "You know, you were there! It means 'heh heh heh."
MYL: "Arrested Development?"
M: "Uhewlllll!"
MYL: "Loverboy?"
M: "Heh heh heh."
MYL: "Ce Ce Penniston?"
M:" "Who?"

Friday, June 03, 2005

Monz Is No Nimrod!

Nimrod -- the mighty hunter of men. Monz -- the mighty hunter of lunch! Hunter's Club, that is! #10 on the Jimmy John's menu makes its way to room 230 (which room 230? Ha! Happy hunting!) Double roast beef, prov, let, tom, may.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Thank You Monz, Can We Have Another?!

Monz puts the editors through the motions, telling us that lunch at the highly advanced seminar Monz is attending will be a Jimmy John's #8 (the Billy Club). Monz was so confident in this lunch that he invoked the venerated word in anticipation. But what, pray tell, is a Billy Club? Our crack resarchers have determined it is roast beef, ham, provelone, mayo, dijon, lettuce and tomato. There's a choice of bread, but we're betting it was the multigrain.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I Can Dig It, He Can Dig It, She Can Dig It, We Can Dig It, They Can Dig It, You Can Dig It, Oh, Let's Dig It!

Monz is grazing in the grass, calling-in from some unidentified park to let us know today's lunch is a footlong turkey sub, from Subway. The editors recall a few years ago being in a Tokyo suburb heading to a large park for a picnic and stopping at the local 7-11 type store to get some sandwiches. But they weren't subs, they were these rice wedge things with the center scooped out and fish scooped in, surrounded by a seaweed wrap. Quite tasty too!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?