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Friday, June 29, 2007

The Moral Monz Minority!

We give Monz the Harvard Moral Sense Test. Just in case you wish to take the test yourself, we won't give too much away here and leave the results in the comments. We'll just say that Monz is no Ayn Rand, but he's no "soak-'em" personal injury trial lawyer either!

The moral of this story? Monz had Amy's Thai stir-fry for lunch, and an apple.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Dual Tragedies!

It's a sad day in Northern Lake County, Illinois, our friends. First, a Lake County judge today ordered three fine, upstanding establishments of inpeccable moral repute to close for not having applied for an adult-use, er, proper business permit. Now, we're all for businesses getting their paperwork in order and have no objection to a reasonable fine, but to close them down! Think of the 100-125 employees who their legal counsel say will lose their jobs? To think nothing, nothing at all, of the patrons! All we can say is the Cheetah II club would never had let this happened!

Another tragedy: Monz' lunch at Fongs was merely "ok"! Vegetable soup and szechuan tofu.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

It's Zee Wango Zee Tango!

Monz lunch was so "miraculously wonderful" yesterday that he cannot but have it again. But what if it hadn't been so wonderful, then what? What if your lunch wasn't so wonderful. Well, if you were in Chicago, you could tango the lunch hour away! No partner necessary, just a few fins!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

William S. Burroughs Yummy Lunch!
We know our readers are up to a post-modern literary challenge created out of a Monz lunch report!
I am salivating as I write, thinking of the Sunday paper had an ad the yummy lunch to come in but a few short moments. For a fishing pole no local restaurant abuse today! A *monzmade* hummus and cucumber sandwich, shrunk inside a common pen made with zesty lemon hummus and fresh cuc's and Dominick's bakery poppy seed french rolls but we doubt it really works. Plus an apple and a cherry diet 7Up. OMGWTF!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Azmuth Highway Robbery!

Sometimes the best laid plans of mice and editors must be torn asunder, as when Monz gets on a roll with his lunch report. Thankfully the Intake Editor (IE) kept up!
We present it in its realtime glory.
"today's lunch is a sad lunch, (mr intake editor). i went to bistro 17. i really kind of wanted their portabello mushroom sandwhich but i said naah, i'll have a salad instead....i ask, make me a cobb salad, no bacon, turkey or eggs. well, what i got was a garden variety garden salad -- they not only didn't give me b, t, or e, but no other vegtable delights that make a cobb salad a cobb salad. I was smoked -- I was robbed of my cobb!

(discussion what other veg come with a cobb that don't come with a garden salad but with a cobb: avocado, black olives. and the salad they brought only had "two sad little tomatoes")

Friday, June 22, 2007


It's another Monz milestone: the 1000th post on Monz Yummy Lunch! For this momentous occasion, Monz traveldines on a veggie wrap and "some sort of desert" from the Abbey Resort in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.

Also, in the second of our dieting suggestions, we offer this Johnny Wakelin inspired verse:

The Monz and Alli (tm)
Don't worry about the side effects
Just set those pounds free

The dieting man
who says to the other folks:
"It's Ahhh-ahhh-leee,
got a spare bedpan?"

Thursday, June 21, 2007

George Carlin Yummy Lunch?!

Today's lunchast: food. Continued food tonight, turning to partly hunger in the morning.

(This is speculation)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Boca Vegan Burger, on multigrain seed bun and apple and banana? Or a Lincoln Park barbershop filled with sports memorabilia where a traditional haircut is dissected and labeled like a sociology grad school paper? You decide!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Stump the Editors!

We admit it! We were not familiar with Monz' lunch from Bacci's, even after deciphering his witty abbreviation, even though there are eateries named after this dish all across the land.We lived and learned!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Summer of Lunch!
No, Monz does not look like Scott McKenzie, but one could hear the homage to the Summer of Love on the lower frequencies of today's lunch:
Amy's Asian noodle stir-fry, apple, diet cherry 7up, and a "mini-banana."

Friday, June 15, 2007

Remember Father's Day Is Sunday!
Father's day has never been a big deal here on MYL, so we thought we'd change that. We were going to have great fun with this -- posting a recipe, analyzing the "dad box step" dance instruction...dance instruction? That's when we noticed the lead author and started to doubt the dadicity.

Monz feels no such compulsion to change anything. Dittolunch!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

I Pity the Foo...Food Editor!

Monz seizes control of the blog's food reviews with today's report. Kashi Black Bean Mango (From the web link Monz provided: "Black beans with roasted red onions and green peppers, red peppers and carrots. Served over Kashi® 7 Whole Grains Pilaf and topped with fire-roasted mango sauce. A delicious dish that's Vegan too!") But that's not all:
Monz Heats! Monz Eats! Monz Scores (a Review!)

Now we don't think Monz meant to dis the FE, so we asked him if he had any advice of his own to share today. "Yes. When heating up some Trader Joe's Butternut Squash soup in the microwave, be sure to stir well, less a super-hot portion [or should we say "souper-hot"? - pun editor] burn your mouth. By the way, did you know Trade Joe's has groupies?" Er, no!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Lunch of the VIKING!
Astute MYL readers will realize that the title of this post is done in Monzstyle. Why? Because Monz has a bit of Viking in him! And recently the Food Editor (FE), during a trip to the Kenosha, WI location of Woodman's Market (where Monz buys his Shimer), picked up some single-serving coffees, ironically from a roaster near his beloved Winona, MN. Most of the flavors he recognized, but then there was this:

We've never heard of such a flavor. We kind of doubt it even exists, as there are scant references to it on the Web, and the desciptions differ (dark? winey? smokey? to us it tasted like burnt Hills Brothers (tm), not altogether unpleasant).

Thus, in the spirit of marketing, we present to you Monz' Scandinavian Lunch: Fong's for ku pao tofu and vegetable soup. And since it's now Scandinavian, "not as bad as usual"!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Honest Lunch!

On the way to the University of Illinois main campus for their regular dose of in-person Library Science lectures, the editors stopped off at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum, which is open seven days a week at 9AM. The editors learned many interesting things, including that Abe and Mary Todd Lincoln used to enjoy sending anonymous letters to the editor greatly needling a pompous local pol. We see that same vibe resonating in this blog! We were also impressed that the gift store sells historical chunks! In this case, pieces of brick from one of Abraham Lincoln's homes. When Monz was a Mere Munificient Moppett, he gave the EIC a similar piece, but this one of wood and from Abraham Lincoln's law office.

Monz would like to look more like Abraham Lincoln, and thus lunches on Dr. Praeger's California Veggie Burger, no bun, plus some banana chips and a stuffed grape leaf.

Monday, June 11, 2007


Monz here, filling in for the editors who are on a road trip to pay homage to (and have lunch with) our 16th president. I am having a portobello sandwich from Bistro 17, something so yummy I've been waiting for Monday to come around so I can have one! After a frightening close call (their phone number is "temporarily disconnected!!") I walked over and picked up my lunch and just waited there.

I am raving angry today! I'm angry about how much of my life I gave away to the Sopranos, and how the producers completely betrayed me. Anyone who says last night's finale was in any way shape or form "good" needs to meet me out at the playground at 3:15 for a smackdown! What a horrible piece of crap! I waited for seasons now for them to redeem this once great show and they couldn't, or more likely wouldn't, do it. What garbage. There was nothing redeeming about it. I will think thrice before committing to any more HBO (or David Chase) shows. What an absolute waste of a once great show. A giant MYL Screw-You to the Sopranos!

Friday, June 08, 2007


Boca (tm) black bean chipotle burger on oat bread, with an organic fuji apple. "All kinds of yum!"

Thursday, June 07, 2007

A Picture Is Worth a Word!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

William Blake Yummy Lunch!

Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained. Monz restrains nuttin! Desiring yesterday's lunch (or desiring to get rid of some of the extra chick'n cutlets), he has it! In the car, where he painstakingly punched out an email report of today's ditto lunch!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Death Rays and Yummy Lunches!

The Travel Editor (TE) regailed the editors' room with a story from one of his many trips to Canada. Somewhere near Winnipeg he was bit by a mosquito. In beautiful Kenora he stopped by a drugstore to buy some hydrocortisone cream to relieve the itch. In Canada, hydrocortisone isn't sold off-the-shelf. While you don't need a perscription, you need to speak with the pharmacist before he or she will hand you a tube. The Pharmacist will tell you, among other things, to be careful not to get too much sun, as the product can thin the skin.

The TE was reminded of this by the timing of Monz' lunch report today, two days after the EIC had oh-so-gently requested Monz deliver news of his yummy lunch sometime before they take comida in Spain. Always helpful, Monz emailed us at 9:30AM: Chick'n Cutlets, which apparently aren't as low cal as the product would imply, plus OrgaFuji.

Monday, June 04, 2007

A Real Original!

The smooth delivery of the goods hiding painful dedication to craft. Monz has a Boca Burger (tm) with soy cheese on a rice bun. Not yummy, but "healthy and violently low-cal.". We just googled "violently low-cal" and no results are turned up. Another Monz Instant-Classic Original! (Oh, plus an organic Fuji apple).

Friday, June 01, 2007

Can't Fake Lunch!
The above photo contains many lessons. The editors don't like to spoil a subtle sublime surmise, but we will note this: if this was a real Civil War enactment, why would everybody be smiling, especiallythe soldiers? Kinda belies the "hey, I transcended time!" boast, dontchathink?

For a truemodern update on a historic classic, look to Monz' lunch! Two Tofurkey Beer Brats on organic wheat buns. An organic apple and a caffeine-free Diet Pepsi. Monz transcended time himself: "I'm sure it will be yummy when I actually eat it."

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