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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Boom Goes the Dynamite!

Thank goodness our hero didn't go to Leno's today! Monz has a 10" veggie sub with jalepenos (we assume from The Place) and adds some international flair with some corn doused with salt, lime, and chili powder from the Mexican grocery across the street.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Red Hot Chili Peppers Yummy Lunch!

Monz likes flavor spiked with plain
And lunching is his aeroplane
It's his aeroplane
Courthouse rooms and shopping lanes
And lunching is his aeroplane
It's his aeroplane

Shopping now at Whole Foods, hey Lord
he can find the food he needs
you can shop at Jewel
but these days all monz eats is weeds
are these tofu spring rolls?
if one is good then why not two?
avacado cucumber sushi
completes the veggie delight food
now get lewd!

Monz likes whole grains spiked with maize
and lunching is his aeroplane
it's his aeroplane
splenda's sweet and root beer's tame
and lunching is his aeroplane
it's his aeroplane
(that m***********'s always spiked with plain)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Secret Robbie!

There are no two finer words in the English language than "encased vegtables" my friends, as Monz feasts on "Artisan" vegan Italian "sausage" on a Dominick's sandwich roll, Minneola (tangerine?) and vegan chocolate mousse. Well-rounded and Yummy!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Hot 'N Nasty!

The editors came across an interesting news item from 1971: Black Oak Arkansas had purchased 1300 acres in the Ozarks in order to build a private community called Heaven, decided to share the land: the set one acre aside and divided it into square inch parcels and give each to a fan as a "thank you," the band promissing to pay for future taxes and land improvements. Alas, Heaven is no longer free.

The entire Monz office went to Fong's for egg drop soup and edamame. Then Monz went home for jalapeno pita chips. Heaven is where you find it.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Should Old Acquaintance Be Not Forgot!

Monz has decreed that today's lunch is dedicated to friend of the blog Bill Wyman! We don't mean Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones (who actually was born "Bill Perks") but the real Bill Wyman who we have known since his days as a music and arts critic in Chicago. Bill Wyman's currently writing at his Hitsville blog and can be found here.

Monz heads to The Place for a footlong Veggie delite on wheat with lots of peppers and no onions. "Decent."

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Spring Is Near!

As our lonely nation endures one of the coldest winters in recent memory, Monz reassures us all that spring will soon be here. "Wait?" we hear a voice. "I was in Waukegan today, and saw that Monz went to Bacci's for bruschetta and seasonal salad. Good, of course, but what's so special or anti-autumnal about that?" Here's what: Bacci's is remodelling the upstairs and will open for more seating, banquets, parties, and . . . take outs!!! We can picture Monz heading off on foot or on bike to the woods, to the park, to the beach...Bacci's in-hand!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Head for the Hills!

What if there was a prophet, one who foretold of a coming doom of searing heat and dryness? What if you heeded the warning and made plans to migrate to sanctuary? What if you were a mostly-vegatarian and needed to prepare for the absolute worst? Monz would not let you down. Monz wouldn't even forget the two essentials of life (read the entire description).
Today Monz is a prophet about a yummy, if later lower gastrointessinally distressing, lunch at Bombay City in Gurnee and their festive buffet. Will Monz return?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Bring It On!
Think we're afraid to take on the big boys here at MYL? Think again! The picture above is from a Citibank magazine advertisement. It accompanied the following copy:

>> "My name is Grace and I live in a small apartment in a big city. And since I enjoy a day of shopping far more than, say, cooking, I decided to do a bit of home remodeling. So with my Citi card in hand, I set out to get some closet organizers. I bought a shoe rack for the oven, sweater boxes for the lower cupboards and some 12-inch baskets for handbags up above. I saved room for plates, glasses and silverware. And one large drawer stuffed with take-out menus.<<

Hey Citibank, we think you're lying! We don't believe that Grace bought all this stuff, either in one big spree or over time. We don't believe that Grace doesn't have any food in her place. We don't think that's her apartment. We don't even think her name is Grace!

We do believe that Monz went to Fong's today for some vegatable soup and vegatable chop suey.

Friday, February 15, 2008


We give Monz a nostalgic gift because thirty years ago, we assure you, Monz would never have had today's lunch! Two vegan "artisan" "Italian Sausages" on wholegrain buns, banana & 2 clementines. "Interesting."

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Bible Bill!

As we approach President's Day, MYL continues its Canadian Mondays series with a note about William S. "Bible Bill" Aberhart, a Prime Minister wannabe during the great depression who champined paying $25 (Canadian dollars) per month to citizens as "Social Credit" -- the idea being that the rebate checks would spur purchases and help alleviate the tight credit situation of the day.

Sound familar? So does Monz' lunch (Leno's for an office-wide lunch where Monz had a 10" veggie sub, no onions and extra jalapenos), but here's something unusual: despite being "damn good!" Monz couldn't finish it!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Who could be calling? It's the Monz! Live from Fong's!! After spending the first part of the morning in Chicago and braving a massive pothole which was the subject of local newscasts! Ordering vegatable soup and vegatable egg foo yung (the latter being a radical change -- eggs!)

MYL: When did you order?
M: Mere moments ago.
MYL: When will it be ready?
M: Mere moments!

(moments later)
MYL: How's the soup?
M: Very veggie. Lots of brocoli, some mushrooms.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

No Lunch for Monz!


Monday, February 11, 2008

We Have Seen Better Days!
As the nation heads into recession, you hear a lot of advice. "Economic stimulus!" "Refinance your mortgage!" "Destroy your joy, pay to delay and keep the wolfs at bay!" We at MYL have some better advice: read Shakespeare's little-knownTimon of Athens for some real lessons on money management! Among other things, it may lead you to take trusted counsel to lunch at Bacci's for a strategy meeting, ordering bruschetta and Linguine pomodoro.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Kody Yummy Lunch!
Editors Note: We did not receive a Friday lunch report from Monz. Making the most of a bad situation, we present the long awaited debut of guess blogger Kody. Contest winner to be announced soon!

Hey guys, it's Kody here to supplement the MYL expose on Tahitti Village. Have you ever wonder what happens if you take the TV folks up on their free trip offer? The Heavy Hand of a Salesman, that's what! You'll wish you were in one of those windowless rooms they used to put you in at Bally's Total Fitness, fighting off their pyschological intimidation (like the Monz once did). Check out some of these comments. Here are my favorites:

>>" You are cheating your children out of a lifetime of memories"

"You should want to own this for your kids so they can use it. Don't you care about your children?"

When we arrived we came in the front door and up an elevator. When we left we were made to walk down 3 flights of stairs in an un air conditioned back stairwell. What started like a friendly place that I would definately consider turned into a place I will never go to or recommend again. <<

Thanks for reading! And keep an eye out for my book "Who Beefs? Living Your Best Life With a Chicken and Lamb-Based Diet" coming soon to a bookstore near you.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda!

Bacci's for Bruschetta and spaghetti pomodoro. We know what you're thinking, "yummy, but we've heard it before." Kind of like what politicos would say about Tom Friedman. "Let me guess, 'the next six months will be critical' - harharhar!" And yeah, the Political Editor (PE) could not but argue. But if you did the anti-willie-loman, you'd have missed this brilliant article even though he's written the same thing before.

The lesson: for the next six months make some room in your budget for lunch. Trust us.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Trust, but Verify!
Every day you are asked, multiple times, to place your trust in something. Take this DVD, it claims to be an entertaining collection of humor from America's 40th President. "You'll laugh. You'll be moved. You'll remember." Ok, ready for sample joke? (their sample, not one we picked for effect):

"It's been a very wonderful day. I guess now I can go back to California can't I?"

Har! Well, Monz doesn't let you down: he promises the pursuit of yummy lunch happiness and he delivers: Tofu spring rolls and vegetarian roll sushi from whole, capped off with a banana and a micro-tiny bag of mini-pretzels from his last flight.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Big Cheese!

A cold is going around the myl office which has our heads in a fog. We know something isn't right, but can't put our fingers on it. For example, yesterday the newspapers ran stories on the 70th anniversary of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. A fine product, yes, but 70th anniversary? 50, sure, 75, no problem, but we're supposed to stop our lives every 5 years for this? Obviously a subtler, subliminal message is being sent. Now, you may not know this dear reader, but the EIC and Monz once had a discussion about the ulterior motives of the international Dart-Kraft company about 23 years ago in connection to a mutual acquaintance we suspected was a covert operator from overseas. Obviously we need to pursue this. And of course, this is the way to celebrate an anniversary!

In the meantime, Monz pursue's Chinese New Year week bliss at Fong's for broccoli with garlic sauce and veg soup. Fong's is celebrating with a special buffet ALL WEEK LONG! "5.95 for the yummy buffet, though its mostly beast-oriented food so I went with an old fave." And apparently word of the Monz' seal of approval is working well for them, as the place is getting crowded!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Text In Effect!

Monz is on the road again, and keeping us on our feet he texts his lunch report. It was a sight to see, the editors jumping up and darting about the office to find the mysterious sound that is the incomming text message ring tone!

House of Siam for young coconut curry and fresh rolls (though we figure this means spring rolls and not bread rolls).

Friday, February 01, 2008

The Super Bowl of Lunches!

We just said that to get a rise out of the trademark-anal NFL. That's right, there will be no "big game" euphemisms here -- come and get us NFL, we'll fair use your ass up and down the legal field and drop kick you please-us through the goal posts of life!

Monz kicks it from home with penne pasta and a homemade spicy sauce.

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