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Friday, October 31, 2008

Mea Culpas!

In one of the most controversial decisions in the history of the blog, the staff deferred to the wishes of the PE to leave the ultimate post from "Screwed Week" up, even at the risk of apparent (and only apparent!) usurpation of the blog's purpose. Not coincidentally, Monz suffered a massive back injury while gallantly attempting to save an innocent domestic animal (then driving himself to the emergency room! Rather than backdate our posts (which we never, ever, ever do), we present Monz's lunches here:

Tuesday: Lost in a vicadin haze.

Wednesday: Gritting through the pain for another committee meeting, another CSC lunch. Jurors are no match for a a Caesar salad and chili, plus a Sprite Zero (tm).

Thursday: Still in massive pain, no lunch for Monz in a cold, lonely office.

Friday: Back home, in agony, Monz chomps on a peanut butter and homemade (by Mrs. Monz' cousin) pear honey sandwich on yummy wholegrain Whole Food's bread, plus vegan chocolate mousse (hmmm). Ah, to moan in sucroseland...

Monday, October 27, 2008

We're Soooooo Screwed!

As we pick-up Screwed Week where we left off, there is no greater proof that we are screwed than this story reporting what a huge drag the U.S. budget deficit will be on the next government. Now look at the date: this was months before the first, second, and third wall street bailouts (not to mention Warren Buffett's $5 billion capital infusion. No wonder Monz shows steely resolve -- not by taking lavish vacations or becoming pb&j miserly, no!, by going to Fong's for a hot and sour soup + vegatable chop suey. Monz' report? "Normal."

Friday, October 24, 2008

What a Country!

The Travel Editor (TE) was prepared to write a happy post about his experiences driving through the fall-colored Ozark Mountains and taking in the Yakov show, when the tragic news reached Branson: No Lunch For Monz!

Back to Screwed Week.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

There's Such a Lot of World to See!
Branson, MO to see Andy Williams tonight, Monz travels to Leno's for a classic ten-inch with hot peppers.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Happy Days Are Here Again...For Now!

News so good, Monz has requested the PE temporarily suspend Screwed Week. Waukegan's Bacci's has been revived as "Campari Ristorante" with blessfully few changes. Bruschetta & Spaghetti Pomodoro. As good as he remembered!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cabinet Position For Monz!

A hearty lunch of peanut butter and peach(!) preserve sandwich on wholegrain bread, honeycrisp apple and original soupman(tm) soup.

The PE continues "Screwed Week" with this chilling warning. "A recent news story hints at a much wider government cover-up and conspiracy! A Texas man is accused of taking revenge on the government by releasing wild boars in Wisconsin, a non-native species which is now reeking havoc with the local ecosystem. Does this sound vaguely familiar? We're supposed to believe that the asian long-horn beetle and those asian big head carp and killer african bees are all "innocent" invasive species, carried to our shores by "ballast water" in ships or by strong winds or, get this, people who like "exotic pets." Ha! Clearly these are acts of domestic terrorism, meant to undermine the economy in ways no subprime mortgage scandal could. What can we do? I, myself, believe that a good first step would be for the next President to take Monz out of his secret superhero spy assignment and appoint him Director of Homeland Security!"

Monday, October 20, 2008

Screwed Week!

Bistro...Amalfi?! Yes, Bistro Amalfi has opened and Monz and Mrs. Monz try it out. Caesar salads, eggplant parmigiana, and pizza margarita. They're off to an...."ok" start. Hopefully next visit they will be a "look forward to" kinda place.

In the past, Monz has munificently allowed the Political Editor (PE) to express views, blog quotes, and otherwise pundtificate [sic, and tm!] on topics far and wide. This week Monz allows the PE to tell us why, well, we're screwed. These views do not necessarily reflect the views of the Monz or the other editors.

Today's reason: Forget Lehman Brothers. Forget the General Motors/Chrysler merge. These kinds of businesses come and go. But Irv's Clothing? Where "Big and Tall, we've got it all?" was a siren song for hard to fit men of budget and taste? Left now to the throws of the meager selection at Men's Warehouse? These are dark days indeed, and as you will see, they're about to get darker!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Monz'll Suprise Ya!

As we say goodbye to the Real Jacko Revival Week with the video which introduced us pilgrims to his invigorating industrial invitations, Monz surprises us by heading to the County Street Cafe for a high level bar association meeting and a Caesar Wrap (w/ baked lays and a caffeine-free Diet Coke). What's surprising about that? Because the dude's mouth was numb from having his brand new sparkling righteous gold tooth installed this morning, making eating difficult!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dear Santa!

What more could a good boy want? How about a 10-inch veggie sub from Leno's, with extra hot peppers?!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Cornering the Lunch Market!

Monz shows a softer side of lunch with lentil soup and a pannini w/ Mrs. Monz downtown (Chicago, not Waukegan) at the Corner Bakery (tm). We show a softer side of Jacko.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Jacko-ing Off at Lunch!

China Garden for sechzuan style bean curd and veggie dumplings. Good -- almost as good as...

Monday, October 13, 2008


By Monz' direction, let the Real Jacko revival begin! It starts by chillin' at home with some veggie chili-mac and multigrain bread. It continues by watching this, you individual you!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Calmness in Turbulent Times!
She Who Cannot Be Named makes a wrap of guacamole and Monz-grown(!) tomatoes in a spinach wrap. Monz doesn't stop there, bringing some of his own homemade ssssssssssspicy pickles, and an apple. Try it and you'll forget all about that little statement thing that came in the mail.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Bloomin' Beasts!

Veggie kielbasa. Veggie hot dog. Both on nothing-but-whole-wheat rolls. Honey crisp apple. Donde esta la protena animala?

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Don't Play It Again!

Can it be? The evil Anti-Nielsen strikes again: no lunch for Monz! Coldbuster smoothie in downtown Chicago doesn't count.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Then Play On!

Monz checks out some new music thrown his way while dining on a home-made mashup of beans and tofu-meat, peppers & carrots over cornbread, a veggie kielbasa on wheat bun and a honeycrisp apple. He had comments.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Head North For Miles on I94, Then Turn Right!

Monz is filled with hope as he tests his new GPS, then strolls the streets of downtown Waukegan to see new signs promissing revitalizaton at old, now-closed faves. For now it's Subway for a 12-inch veggie delight with dijon and baked lays.

Friday, October 03, 2008


A spirit as negative as an antinielsen hovers over Waukegan: No Lunch for Monz! And that wasn't even the worst news of the day!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Man Up!

If you don't think you're half the man Monz is, here's a chance to man up!. Or you could just head over to the County Street Cafe for a custom made, off-menu vegetable panini (but be sure to be ensconsed in committee work when you do!)

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Ode to Lunch!

In the spirit of the New Yorker Festival and all things literati, Monzyummylunch presents the following poem, produced but-for the effort of the Poetry Editor (PE) in collaboration with Monz' lunch!

bump into things all about
search for Windsor to order crisp Fall
nutrous receeds
a deer is narrow and cold now

Dine if neccessary

wife across street
to louie's
cheese green olive pizza

somebody young
within you.

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