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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Turn and Face the Strange!

More ch-ch-changes for your new year's resolutions! The editors did a quick ebay search on "change your life" and found the following suggestions:

- Haunted Seat Turtle Ring
- Book: "Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life"
- "The Little Secret That Can Change Your Life by Joann Davis
(which turns out to be "If You Win the Rat Race, You're Still a Rat!")
- Virgin Coconut Oil

We think the Monz could blow these out of the water with his winning thesis "Change your lunch, change your life." Because as he surveyed downtown Waukegan, finding Campari's closed (!) and few people about, making due with spicy shredded vegatables and hot and sour soup, Monz realized the nature of the problem currently vexing America.

A happy 2009 to Monz and all our readers!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

And Don't Bother With Mr. In-Between!

A melancholy Monz heads to Plato's for chili, mixing in seemlessly with the local crowd and constables on patrol but not with much of an appetite. Most are there for the cheeseburger special, Monz is there for the chili. "Ask for no O's. O's are put on. O's are removed. Fun!"

So as you can see, Monz has a great ability to stay positive in a sea of negativity. Still, even Monz can use a recharge, so:

CBOD 38 Surviving & Thriving with Positive Energy
Ever wonder why you are attracted to certain people and not to others? Your personal energy is compatible with some people, but less so with others. Like an energy fingerprint, we each have a unique vibration. This thought-provoking approach explores what makes us who we are, our unique talents and how to use them. Meditation and visualization help attune your positive energies and special exercises will help develop them. You will learn how unseen vibration energy defines who you are, and how your thoughts create your life. Enhance positive thoughts and improve your life.

10AM - 4PM Saturday March 21st

Monday, December 29, 2008

Resolve!With the new year soon upon us, the editors have reviewed the Spring 2009 catalog from the College of Lake County for good adult continuing education courses which may be of interest and/or benefit to the Monz, and to you! This week we present the results. (Non-residents of Lake County may take these courses for an additional fee, or you may find similar courses at a community college near you.) Today Monz resolved to have Jamba Juice (tm) Strawberry Nirvana (tm) which he drank on the train back home from downtown Chicago to catch an early flick with Mrs. Monz!

For only the cost of a few stamps and envelopes, imagine getting
authentic autographed photos of some of the most famous actors
and important personalities of our time in your mailbox! This class
teaches all the steps of how to collect “through the mail” autographs
directly from celebrities, astronauts, politicians and sports personalities.
[Instructor] will showcase some of her collection,
including her signatures of George Carlin, Charlton Heston, Linda
Carter, Ernie Banks, John Travolta, William Shatner, Nadia
Comaneci, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert DeNiro. [Instructor] will also share
some of the interesting stories behind the autographs and how the
hobby can be used to teach about history and current events.
Wouldnʼt it be nice to receive something other than junk mail in your
Cost: $15.00 Tuesday, April 14th, 12:30PM to 2:30 PM

Friday, December 26, 2008

Monday, Monday!

Can't beat that lunch, as Monz has tofu franks n' beans, a delightful, unique and delicious lunch.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The One True Lunch!

No true lunch for Monz, but a late day turkey-fest at the in-laws.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall!

The Four Seasons in downtown Chicago for a family holiday lunch of onion soup and Cobb salad. The thing is, the Grinch was working in the kitchen, because this was truly the worst salad ever. Poor Monz is still suffering the repercussions! Hope it doesn't cramp the rest of his holiday style!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas!

Twas the night before the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stiring
Not even a mouse
It twas 'cos Subway delivered a perfectly boring veggie sub to the Monz when we all know they are capable of better.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Out With the Old, In With the New!We bet that when this photo was taken, nobody in downtown Waukegan had even thought of having two jumbo tofu dogs (with mustard and jalapeno pickles) and an apple for lunch. But they do now!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Jacskon Five Yummy Lunch!

Stop, the lunch you save may be your own
Fong's for veg chop suey
Or else your stomach's going to groan
Fong's the one who wants you!
Ma Pa Tofu's what you need!
Those other Waukegan establishments
Have really gone to seed!
They'll ruin your reputation!
They'll say your lunch is dirt!
The way they overcook food
Your lunch will soon be burnt!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tis the Season to be Jolly!

And really, who wouldn't be jolly while eating a tofuturkey sandwich on whole wheat bread plus apple?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

We Look Fabulous!

Sparse post today while we interview for a new Fashion Editor (FE). "If you bug me for requests, I'm probably not going to do it." Hmm -- this is not the munifictude we look for. The kind of lunch we look for is a Mrs. Monz-made vegan lasagna ("most excellent") and an apple. And a caffeine free Dr. Pepper.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Things That Make You Go Hmmm-Hmmm!
Hey, lots of people are interested in Richard Nixon, but not everybody makes a return trip to the CSC for "salad." ("That's it?" "Yeah, with light Italian dressing, caffeine free diet coke and baked lays").

Monday, December 15, 2008

Monz' Waukegan!Over to the County Cafe for a provolone wrap, yogurt & Baked Lays. "Decent."

Friday, December 12, 2008

Caught Blow by Blow, Lunch TKO!

Heading back to the late 80's for a "veggie tofu fake cheesy thing wrapeed up, and it looks like it has chicken in it. It will be yummy."

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Hold the Lock and You Hold the Key!

We're into good advice. Dittolunch!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

...But Now You Know the Rest Of the Story!

Could this be part of Patrick Fitzgerald's transcripts of taped conversations with Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich ?

Aide: How about [Candidate No. 6?]
RB: You mean that rising star of the Waukegan bar? **** him! He thinks setting an example of munificence, competence, and yumminess qualifies him to be senator? Yeah, that's more than most pols deliver, but what the **** is in it for me? At least President-Elect Obama will give me appreciation if I choose [Candidate No. 1]. This [Candidate No. 6], tells me he had a sandwich with vegan field roast on wholegrain bread -- doesn't even say that's a brand name and not something out of the ****** little house on the prairie cookbook, and apple and banana and expects me to appreciate him just because it was yummy?! Hey, maybe I'll appoint my father in law Dick Mell -- then you ask "What's a Dick for?" [garbled] Why the **** aren't you laughing?!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Bulls on Parado!

Monz heads to Taco Parado on a whim. Veggifies some chicken tacos. The tortillas are fried...deeply fried, and not well blotted. By dint of sheer will, the blood pumps through the invisible clogs.

Monday, December 08, 2008

It's What You Crave!

Monz gives into the crave and heads to Target for their store-brand ("Work.Org") jumbo paper clips: clear vinyl coated silver clips with a graceful curved structure more befitting a work of art than a functional office supply. Ok, that's the acquisitions editor's (AE) opinion -- Monz craved a hot dog from Plato's. And he got him some!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Week for Winona!
We didn't realize just how much Monz needs some Winona in his life: he thought he had reported Thursday's lunch when he hadn't! And since we neverbackdate posts here on MYL, we'll just have to leave that Thursday as a gap. But that doesn't mean a gap in coverage! Thursday Monz dined at Campari (woah-woah). Bruschetta and spaghetti pomodoro of what we presume was standard quality. Today a "vegany loaf of some sort" on whole weat bread and an oprahapple (JFYS!), with a caffeine free Dr. Pepper which apparently is either pretty new in these parts or pretty rare.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Weak for Winona!
We so hoped that Monz would travel to the prettiest place in the Midwest (Winona, MN) for a warmyummy lunch and some soul-reviving scenery. Alas he had a lunch meeting, so another trip to the CCC for the baked potato bar with lots of broccoli (and a Sprite Free (TM)) is all we can ask for.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

We're Kornfused!

Patriot Monz spends the morning volunteering at the court, goes to the CCC for a "sammitch, salad and baked lays." Decent, but dark (as in, we're in the dark as-to what the beast was!

Monday, December 01, 2008


The MYL crack reporting team has uncovered yet another big business lie! This time it's Campbell's V8 juice. This product's name makes you think you are getting a blend of eight vegatables. But nobody has bothered to count them: v8 only has seven vegatable juices!
Let's count together!

1) Carrots, 2) Celery, 3) Beets, 4) Parsley, 5) Lettuce, 6) Watercress, 7) Spinach.

"Aha, gotcha!" some of you Earnie/Ricky/etc. lurkers are thinking. "What about tomato juice?" Tomatoes are fruits, not veggies, and V8 also has lemon juice, so if they are going to count fruits, they should call it V9!

Evil forces are at work in Waukegan as well, as Monz tries to get chili at the County Cafe, but an early release (of jurors) gets there first. Monz heads to Plato's for their chili and it was warmyummy.

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