Thursday, July 08, 2004
The King Is Dead, Long Live the King!
In a surprise, Monz is having Burger King's fire grilled chicken salad. While Monz is blah-ze about Burger King, the editors have a certain fascination with the place. Following their demise from a once "Avis-like" challenger to McDonalds to a tertiary fast food power is like watching a car wreck. For example, they just hire a new CEO to turn things around, and then the franchises revolted because they don't want to mop up their filthy stores!
But the origin of their downfall was inarguably when they dumped the "Burger King" -- a bearded, friendly, crown wearing gent with a slightly mischievous gleam in his eye. Way cooler than Ronald McDonald (who we still like). The Burger King had a theme song:
He's the marvelous magical Burger King
He can do most anything
He loves burgers, cokes and fries,
And here's something new right before your eyes!
[At this point the tv screen would go "poof" and a bunch of presents would appear for all the kids]
He's got toys and fun for everyone!
[More goodies would appear, the kids would all go "BURGER KING, YAY!!!!" and the Burger King would stare at us through the tv screen, smile and nod knowingly].
Masterful! But it could have been even better...
He's the marvelous magical Bonger King
He will smoke most anything
He loves burnouts, coke and fries
And here's something new right before your eyes!
[At this point the tv screen would go "poof" and a bunch of waterpipes would appear]
He's got tokes and smokes for all the folks!
BONGER KING, YAY!!!
But they got rid of the Burger King and then started making fun of geeks (remember the Herb ads?), which continues to this day. Mocking your core advertising base? That's a great marketing idea! Monz, you casted your pearls before swine!
Oh, the salad? Monz remembers this -- it has the chicken in a pouch to keep the lettuce cold, "like that McDonalds thing years before" (McDLT, we thinks?). "Normally I'd make fun of it, but it actually seems to have worked, but it's not like the chicken caesar I had before the Sloan show, which was an excellent chicken caesar!"
In a surprise, Monz is having Burger King's fire grilled chicken salad. While Monz is blah-ze about Burger King, the editors have a certain fascination with the place. Following their demise from a once "Avis-like" challenger to McDonalds to a tertiary fast food power is like watching a car wreck. For example, they just hire a new CEO to turn things around, and then the franchises revolted because they don't want to mop up their filthy stores!
But the origin of their downfall was inarguably when they dumped the "Burger King" -- a bearded, friendly, crown wearing gent with a slightly mischievous gleam in his eye. Way cooler than Ronald McDonald (who we still like). The Burger King had a theme song:
He's the marvelous magical Burger King
He can do most anything
He loves burgers, cokes and fries,
And here's something new right before your eyes!
[At this point the tv screen would go "poof" and a bunch of presents would appear for all the kids]
He's got toys and fun for everyone!
[More goodies would appear, the kids would all go "BURGER KING, YAY!!!!" and the Burger King would stare at us through the tv screen, smile and nod knowingly].
Masterful! But it could have been even better...
He's the marvelous magical Bonger King
He will smoke most anything
He loves burnouts, coke and fries
And here's something new right before your eyes!
[At this point the tv screen would go "poof" and a bunch of waterpipes would appear]
He's got tokes and smokes for all the folks!
BONGER KING, YAY!!!
But they got rid of the Burger King and then started making fun of geeks (remember the Herb ads?), which continues to this day. Mocking your core advertising base? That's a great marketing idea! Monz, you casted your pearls before swine!
Oh, the salad? Monz remembers this -- it has the chicken in a pouch to keep the lettuce cold, "like that McDonalds thing years before" (McDLT, we thinks?). "Normally I'd make fun of it, but it actually seems to have worked, but it's not like the chicken caesar I had before the Sloan show, which was an excellent chicken caesar!"
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