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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

He Is Opening Himself to All the Love in the Universe!

Turning an extra-ordinary lunch into an extraordinary lunch, fearless Monz agreed to indulge us in an experiment. We asked the Monz to try a wee bit of conscious eating, a mystical practice of the ancients. We beseached the Monz to tell us what he was feeling during this process. Needless to say, he didn't disappoint!

>>Ugh.

Ist attempt: "Wow. This salad is kinda yummy! The chicken tastes like its barbequed! MMmmm! Garlicy dressing. (chewchewchew) Wow. The chicken is extremely tender. They did a good job today. How come they didn't give us lots of plastic silverware? Dicks. How much time has gone by? 30 seconds! *#@%!! (swallow)"

2nd attempt: "Hmmm. Still yummy. Ooooh! I got a crouton in this mouthful! Mmmm. What's Vicki doing across the table? She is eating french dip. She is dipping it. I wonder if its yummy? (chewchewchew) All the food in my mouth is garlicy mush. I don't think I can chew much more. How much time has gone by? 40 seconds! *&#^%$!! (swallow)"

3rd Attempt: "Hmmm. Still yummy. Damn. No crouton. Chicken still tastes yummy. Amy is talking to me. Why? I am chewing! (chewchewchew) 'Must be love - it's a bitch - all right!' whoa! If I have to get a song stuck in my head, at least this one rocks! 'I'm feeling hungry - just ate a horse meat pie' Wow. Mick used to write good lyrics. I wish I could write good lyrics. Maybe I need to drink that yummy whiskey Toos gave me and then write. Wow. All the food in my mouth is mush. I wonder how long I've been chewing. #*&^@!! 30 seconds! (swallow)." <<

Just remember, where others say "What?!," we here at MonzYummyLunch say Wah!
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