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Monday, October 18, 2004

Dying Air!

Chickenhamcheddar from Jewel. Reading between the lines, we understand this to be a grey lunch, devoid of passion, color and texture, consumed merely to provide fuel for physical sustenance, but nothing to nurture Monz' soul to get through the trials and travails that the day may present. On on a similarly down note, the research editor here at myl has unraveled the mystery of exactly what is the "revolutionary air cleaning technology used by the Pentagon after 9/11" touted by such products as the Fresh Air (tm) machine by Living Air (tm). Apparently these babies have two settings. The "high" setting produces a combination of negative ions and ozone, though apparently you're only supposed to run this when you ain't in the room. We here at myl already resent the Shaper Image (tm) for the marketing of its Ionic Breeze (tm), which Consumer Reports exposed as an utter fraud. Just to show you low we feel, we are compelled to paraphrase Maroon 5: Is there anyone out there because it's getting harder and harder to breathe! At least we know that Monz is a breath (indeed, blast!) of fresh air!
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