Wednesday, November 03, 2004
24-Hour Party People...Suck!
Monz comes up with his own "election bracket" -- blackened chicken salad, autumn couscous (gourds, cranberries - could it not be a large portion?) and pack of edename from Whole Foods. If reading that doesn't make you think to yourself "mmm...yummy" you must be at the dentist because your mouth is full novacaine!
So what was the fate of our intrepid political editor, who went up to Milwaukee to be an official party poll watcher? Suffice to say it was a wildly mixed bag. The regular-folks who volunteered for the other party were, by and large, wonderful. They either quietly checked-off voters on their lists or provided modest assistance to the election officials and voters standing in line. Nothing obstructionist in the least -- especially the one dude who did nothing all day but sit at an unused table and watch the grade school gymnasium where voting was conducted. (We mean that literally -- he sat there for 12 hours and if he moved twice our editor didn't see it). The hardcore activists who stopped by were an entirely different matter. First their was the county board of elections member, a bushy-mustached bear of a man who went around flashing his ID and a badge, accompanied by three fourtysomething fratboy types who stood around complaining about their governor (from the other party of course). Our editor had to stick his nose into this guy's attempt to intimidate the Chief Elections Officer, a seventy-something African American woman who gimped around on a cane and vowed never to do another election again.
But Bushystachedbushboy was nothing compared to the born again Missouri-to-Milwaukean who showed up at closing time to "gird the troops" and challenge absentee ballots. After this dude launched into an attack on the far side of the gym at the Chief Elections Officer, the editor moseyed over, catching only his ending "everyone makes mistakes" and "oh yeah, I will report it." When the editor asked what the mistake was that had made him upset he replied with a tight smile "I don't have to tell you anything, so I won't." Editor turned to a nearby Election Protection guy (these folks were associated with the state board of elections) and asked if he caught any of this, because B.A.M-to-M. was too ashamed to say. At this B.A.M.-to-M. walked up to our editor and said "Listen, friend, I've never been ashamed of anything in my life. Why don't you look in a mirror and you'll get your answer. Now I have to make a phone call, get out of my face." Which was curious as it was B.A.M.-to-M. guy who had returned to the editor. We suspect B.A.M.-to-M. had sized up our editor and made certain assumptions about him, for later at the absentee ballot challenge session he would say "thank you" to the editor (after the editor managed to end a 15 minute dispute between the district attorney and the other party over an overvote ballot: our editor got through to the election board and learned the ballot should be tossed out -- this "against interest" admission apparently made an impression.)
Oh, the lines ranged from 45 min. to 1:15 the entire day. Our 6-8 vs. 1-1.5 editor was forced to be on his feet all day. But enough ephemera! Here's the dirt: the party provide the editor with a soggy turkey sandwich, a bag of lays, a can of pop and a decent (but small) chocolate chip cookie. Downtown Milwaukee and the just-to-the-west lincoln-parkish district is really pretty at night. It is impossible to get a butterburger(tm) after 11 (our editor settled for a Burger King in Racine, which at least was piping hot). Now, the party suggested that our editor could give out Halloween candy to the people in line to help make the wait more bearable. But the school where polling was taking place was conducting a bake sale. The editor decided he would not risk costing the bake sale funds by handing out food. Good thing: turns out there is a Wisconsin state law forbidding election folks from competing with bake sales on election day.
Favorite moment: "Sir, we have a legal question here -- go ahead [voter]. Voter: "Can I vote for different parties?" "What?" "Can I vote for different parties?" "You mean vote for one party for one office and a different party for another?" "Yeah, that's what I want to do." "Of course, absolutely." "Thanks!"
UPDATE: Monz, in a move worthy of Karl Rove or James Carville, substitutes curry tofu salad for the blackened chicken! Lunch, meat[sic] your fate!
Monz comes up with his own "election bracket" -- blackened chicken salad, autumn couscous (gourds, cranberries - could it not be a large portion?) and pack of edename from Whole Foods. If reading that doesn't make you think to yourself "mmm...yummy" you must be at the dentist because your mouth is full novacaine!
So what was the fate of our intrepid political editor, who went up to Milwaukee to be an official party poll watcher? Suffice to say it was a wildly mixed bag. The regular-folks who volunteered for the other party were, by and large, wonderful. They either quietly checked-off voters on their lists or provided modest assistance to the election officials and voters standing in line. Nothing obstructionist in the least -- especially the one dude who did nothing all day but sit at an unused table and watch the grade school gymnasium where voting was conducted. (We mean that literally -- he sat there for 12 hours and if he moved twice our editor didn't see it). The hardcore activists who stopped by were an entirely different matter. First their was the county board of elections member, a bushy-mustached bear of a man who went around flashing his ID and a badge, accompanied by three fourtysomething fratboy types who stood around complaining about their governor (from the other party of course). Our editor had to stick his nose into this guy's attempt to intimidate the Chief Elections Officer, a seventy-something African American woman who gimped around on a cane and vowed never to do another election again.
But Bushystachedbushboy was nothing compared to the born again Missouri-to-Milwaukean who showed up at closing time to "gird the troops" and challenge absentee ballots. After this dude launched into an attack on the far side of the gym at the Chief Elections Officer, the editor moseyed over, catching only his ending "everyone makes mistakes" and "oh yeah, I will report it." When the editor asked what the mistake was that had made him upset he replied with a tight smile "I don't have to tell you anything, so I won't." Editor turned to a nearby Election Protection guy (these folks were associated with the state board of elections) and asked if he caught any of this, because B.A.M-to-M. was too ashamed to say. At this B.A.M.-to-M. walked up to our editor and said "Listen, friend, I've never been ashamed of anything in my life. Why don't you look in a mirror and you'll get your answer. Now I have to make a phone call, get out of my face." Which was curious as it was B.A.M.-to-M. guy who had returned to the editor. We suspect B.A.M.-to-M. had sized up our editor and made certain assumptions about him, for later at the absentee ballot challenge session he would say "thank you" to the editor (after the editor managed to end a 15 minute dispute between the district attorney and the other party over an overvote ballot: our editor got through to the election board and learned the ballot should be tossed out -- this "against interest" admission apparently made an impression.)
Oh, the lines ranged from 45 min. to 1:15 the entire day. Our 6-8 vs. 1-1.5 editor was forced to be on his feet all day. But enough ephemera! Here's the dirt: the party provide the editor with a soggy turkey sandwich, a bag of lays, a can of pop and a decent (but small) chocolate chip cookie. Downtown Milwaukee and the just-to-the-west lincoln-parkish district is really pretty at night. It is impossible to get a butterburger(tm) after 11 (our editor settled for a Burger King in Racine, which at least was piping hot). Now, the party suggested that our editor could give out Halloween candy to the people in line to help make the wait more bearable. But the school where polling was taking place was conducting a bake sale. The editor decided he would not risk costing the bake sale funds by handing out food. Good thing: turns out there is a Wisconsin state law forbidding election folks from competing with bake sales on election day.
Favorite moment: "Sir, we have a legal question here -- go ahead [voter]. Voter: "Can I vote for different parties?" "What?" "Can I vote for different parties?" "You mean vote for one party for one office and a different party for another?" "Yeah, that's what I want to do." "Of course, absolutely." "Thanks!"
UPDATE: Monz, in a move worthy of Karl Rove or James Carville, substitutes curry tofu salad for the blackened chicken! Lunch, meat[sic] your fate!
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