Thursday, December 02, 2004
Jingle Bells, Old Navy Sells, MYL Yells!
Excitement today as Vickie heads to Steak and Shake and gets Monz a Chili Mac Supreme. Alas...the order for the Orange Freeze was replaces with a Strawberry Shake, the chili wasn't real chili, the "mac" was mere pasta (spaghetti) and the cheese on top was hardened into an impenetrable shell.
Because Monz would want us to, we provide the following much-needed deconstruction of a current advertisement running on tv:
"Hey There Katie, What Is Up?"
The passive-aggressive hostility begins. Of course nobody wants to be bothered at the bakery, so it is couched in a friendly greeting that supposedly only a cretin would object to. And seeing how they don't let Katie answer, we have another clue that they don't really care about Katie.
"It Must Be Great Having 14 Cousins."
First, why the speculation -- none of the choir has that many cousins? The editors found this a bit racist (and noted that only one of the choir is African-American, and female -- the advertising industry always favors black women over black men because they are less threatening while at the same time providing diversity. note that the Monz would probably offer a different opinion on this aspect of our deconstruction). Second, why must it be great? 14 cousins = at least one is going to be prettier/more successful/make you seem like a failure. And there's always the chance that all 14 are utter asses.
"Except At This Time of Year. That Sure Is a Whole Lot of Presents!"
Note the counter-clockwise half-sweep of the fisted-arms of the choir (to add emphasis to the words "sure is"). More passive-aggressivity: cheerily sending the message to worry about the holidays. And it puts a negative spin on something that may not be negative -- you figure these 19 cousins by now have fallen into gift-giving patterns where they realize they can't afford anything too extravegant. Maybe Katie and the Cuzes enjoy the exchanges. We know the posting editor "Cuz" sure would. And if they all chose to just save their money, would that be so bad?
"Check Out the New Performance Fleece Only at Old Navy In Exciting New Colors and Styles"
In one fell swoop, the whole Christmas holiday is prostituted, Katie's trust in the friendliness of the choir is betrayed, and yet another lie is perpetrated: these colors and styles are age-old. You s*** eating shills!
"Like Zip-hoodies bomber jackets and pullovers"
Fleece "bomber jackets"? With "zip-hoodies"? Hey, maybe to honor Julia Roberts' kids, Old Navy can come up with "G.I. Phinneas"
"And By the Way Your Mom Says 'Hi'"
And by the way?!?! You freaks went so far as to talk with her mother and you aren't making it a point to say "hi"?! Just happened to remember it at the last moment? Of course, the choir isn't really supposed to be so callous. The advertising agency wants to call attention to the lyrics by making it seem unprofessional, with a highly unusual, non-rhyming toss-off aside thrown in.
"They Sure Are Cosy!"
Why? Because Old Navy only makes cozy things? We know that's not true from their other ads. Because performance fleece is by nature cozy? Then why the need to buy it from Old Navy? Most of all, how would this "so cute that you know they went through 20,000 casting photos" kid have enough experience to give us such an expert opinion? The Daubert decision alone should have killed this ad. And why does he keep smiling? Did they inject him with that stuff from the Batman (tm) comics that the Joker would use to kill his victims? Almost makes us want to fall into the Gap.
Excitement today as Vickie heads to Steak and Shake and gets Monz a Chili Mac Supreme. Alas...the order for the Orange Freeze was replaces with a Strawberry Shake, the chili wasn't real chili, the "mac" was mere pasta (spaghetti) and the cheese on top was hardened into an impenetrable shell.
Because Monz would want us to, we provide the following much-needed deconstruction of a current advertisement running on tv:
"Hey There Katie, What Is Up?"
The passive-aggressive hostility begins. Of course nobody wants to be bothered at the bakery, so it is couched in a friendly greeting that supposedly only a cretin would object to. And seeing how they don't let Katie answer, we have another clue that they don't really care about Katie.
"It Must Be Great Having 14 Cousins."
First, why the speculation -- none of the choir has that many cousins? The editors found this a bit racist (and noted that only one of the choir is African-American, and female -- the advertising industry always favors black women over black men because they are less threatening while at the same time providing diversity. note that the Monz would probably offer a different opinion on this aspect of our deconstruction). Second, why must it be great? 14 cousins = at least one is going to be prettier/more successful/make you seem like a failure. And there's always the chance that all 14 are utter asses.
"Except At This Time of Year. That Sure Is a Whole Lot of Presents!"
Note the counter-clockwise half-sweep of the fisted-arms of the choir (to add emphasis to the words "sure is"). More passive-aggressivity: cheerily sending the message to worry about the holidays. And it puts a negative spin on something that may not be negative -- you figure these 19 cousins by now have fallen into gift-giving patterns where they realize they can't afford anything too extravegant. Maybe Katie and the Cuzes enjoy the exchanges. We know the posting editor "Cuz" sure would. And if they all chose to just save their money, would that be so bad?
"Check Out the New Performance Fleece Only at Old Navy In Exciting New Colors and Styles"
In one fell swoop, the whole Christmas holiday is prostituted, Katie's trust in the friendliness of the choir is betrayed, and yet another lie is perpetrated: these colors and styles are age-old. You s*** eating shills!
"Like Zip-hoodies bomber jackets and pullovers"
Fleece "bomber jackets"? With "zip-hoodies"? Hey, maybe to honor Julia Roberts' kids, Old Navy can come up with "G.I. Phinneas"
"And By the Way Your Mom Says 'Hi'"
And by the way?!?! You freaks went so far as to talk with her mother and you aren't making it a point to say "hi"?! Just happened to remember it at the last moment? Of course, the choir isn't really supposed to be so callous. The advertising agency wants to call attention to the lyrics by making it seem unprofessional, with a highly unusual, non-rhyming toss-off aside thrown in.
"They Sure Are Cosy!"
Why? Because Old Navy only makes cozy things? We know that's not true from their other ads. Because performance fleece is by nature cozy? Then why the need to buy it from Old Navy? Most of all, how would this "so cute that you know they went through 20,000 casting photos" kid have enough experience to give us such an expert opinion? The Daubert decision alone should have killed this ad. And why does he keep smiling? Did they inject him with that stuff from the Batman (tm) comics that the Joker would use to kill his victims? Almost makes us want to fall into the Gap.
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