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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Sah-saaaay!

Take January 3rd, add the side of January 4th but take a plane from Santa Fe to Florence and you've got it.

Monz was bemoaning the lack of love in the world for all the lonely people out there. Hearing his humanitarian plead for help, we present a slightly adapted 8 tips for getting a guy recently presented in Jane Magazine (with money-back guarantee [theirs, not ours -- accounting editor]).

- Ask to read the guy's newspaper over his shoulder while on standing on the bus or subway.
- Post an ad on craigslist beginning with the words "attractive young woman seeking..."
- Announce your availability wearing a shirt that has "Dude, ask me out" printed on it.
- Troll all the political parties - you're overlooking the Libertarians!
- Book a solo trip to Pantelleria or South Philly and wear a lot of scarves.
- Go see the movie Kinsley alone the same night you wear the above-described shirt.
- Eat popsicles and lollipops. Constantly.
- Crash a party attended by grad students or those with a grad school degree witha pitcher of mulled wine.
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