Thursday, April 28, 2005
Man of Cultured!
Turkey meatloaf, apple, carrots and a tiny little thing of yogurt. Which is spooky, because just yesterday the editors were making what is a regular inquiry around these parts, "how can we optimize Monz' stomach" and a thought ocurred to us: yogurt! We were flipping through a magazine and see a recipe for homemade yogurt. "Yes!" we all think, "this is what Monz needs." We procede to the ingreedents: Candy thermometer -- not exactly sure but ok. 2 quarts milk - makes sense. So far, so good. But what's this? "2 to 3 heaping tablespoons of plain yogurt that contains active or live cultures." Huh? What's the point of making homemade yogurt if you have to go out and buy yogurt just to make it? Anyway, the whole shebang takes about seven hours and involves leaving a jar of the milk/"starter yogurt" concoction in an oven. Sensing how awful this sounds, the magazine then suggests that you just buy a yogurt maker like the "Euro Cuisine" for $30 at Williams-Sonoma. Hmm, now that doesn't sound so bad! But then they say "the yogurt will be thinner than commercial brands" (due to the lack of additives). But here's the kicker -- "refrigerate and save a little to give birth to your next batch." Ewwwww! People, do you realize what this means? Somewhere out there people are eating yogurt that is eternally old!
Also, we cannot keep such piercing self-insight to ourselves. Yesterday we played Mark Monz a tape one of our favorite philosphers, Sibilla, including this pearl of wisdom:
"If you are true to yourself, find out what kind of self you are."
Mark Monz took barely a moment before informing us "I have a hungry self, and I'm about to be true to it."
Turkey meatloaf, apple, carrots and a tiny little thing of yogurt. Which is spooky, because just yesterday the editors were making what is a regular inquiry around these parts, "how can we optimize Monz' stomach" and a thought ocurred to us: yogurt! We were flipping through a magazine and see a recipe for homemade yogurt. "Yes!" we all think, "this is what Monz needs." We procede to the ingreedents: Candy thermometer -- not exactly sure but ok. 2 quarts milk - makes sense. So far, so good. But what's this? "2 to 3 heaping tablespoons of plain yogurt that contains active or live cultures." Huh? What's the point of making homemade yogurt if you have to go out and buy yogurt just to make it? Anyway, the whole shebang takes about seven hours and involves leaving a jar of the milk/"starter yogurt" concoction in an oven. Sensing how awful this sounds, the magazine then suggests that you just buy a yogurt maker like the "Euro Cuisine" for $30 at Williams-Sonoma. Hmm, now that doesn't sound so bad! But then they say "the yogurt will be thinner than commercial brands" (due to the lack of additives). But here's the kicker -- "refrigerate and save a little to give birth to your next batch." Ewwwww! People, do you realize what this means? Somewhere out there people are eating yogurt that is eternally old!
Also, we cannot keep such piercing self-insight to ourselves. Yesterday we played Mark Monz a tape one of our favorite philosphers, Sibilla, including this pearl of wisdom:
"If you are true to yourself, find out what kind of self you are."
Mark Monz took barely a moment before informing us "I have a hungry self, and I'm about to be true to it."
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