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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Mail Call!

Tortellini drenched in white ceasar dressing and yogurt. Monz says "yum!"

Time to check the Monzyummylunch mailbag:

"I frequently want to e-mail friends some of Monz' sage advice, but there are not permanent links to the daily posts. Even if I give them instructions on how to search the archives, sometimes the screen scroll gets stuck in the browser. Please help!"

Your wish is our command! Permalinks are definitely on our to-do list. As for the other, our technical staff has reported that the fault for the browswer's stop-short move lies with Microsoft and not the webmaster or Blogger(tm). But our technical staff do not wear clothes befitting of Best Buy's "Geek Squad," the "Geeks on Call" chain or "Geek in Your Face" so we're suspicious and will continue to monitor the problem.

"We've been following this blog for a while and are of the opinion that Monzyummylunch is a cult out to brainwash the world into following this meglomaniac. What do you think of that?"

In the words of Yoda, "read carefully, you have must not." For we ask, what is the essence of Monz if not freedom and individuality? You'll be hard-pressed to find a single demand in the litterally hundreds of blog entries Monz' inspiration has graced us with. In contrast, colorful demagogs such as Hulk Hogan have issued legions of "Demandments," targetted at children no less! Is that what you're saying, you hate kids? Well? Huh? Well?! Huh?! Listen, Joyboy, go read Ernie.

"I have been looking for a lawyer like the Monz for --decades--! [details of case redacted]. Can Monz take my case?"

We get many letters like yours. Because of the time pressure Monz is on, we must screen them to determine whether there is jurisdiction in those many places where Monz is licensed to practice law. Unfortunately, our legal staff has determined that your case could only be brought in the nation of Guernsey, which coincidentally has great archery facilities.
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