Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Clearer Skin, We Guarantee It!
The editor in chief shares the following story in the hopes that it will help someone out there. Like many other adults who suffer in silence, the EIC suffers from adult acne. Not "oh my G_d, you're 40 and you have pimples on your face!" acne but the "oh my G_d, I'm 40 and I'll get pimples if I don't use this s***"!" acne. Usually the EIC purchases such products while doing some weekend shopping for the folks, when he can hide the purchase behind the cloak of anonymity that a long shopping list and full shopping cart provides. But this past weekend he was at the folks' both days and Sunday, and thus was only doing his own shopping at Jewel/Osco when he placed the Neutrogena (tm) clear poor oil-controlling astringent in his cart. Then, in the prepared food section ("gasp!" - Monz) the bottle slipped through the wide railings at the top of the cart and tumbled to the floor, where apparently the cap wasn't on tight enough and some squirted out. Dismayed and disgusted, the EIC was about to put the bottle on an empty space on the shelf by the Betty Crocker Complete Meal Beef Stroganoff ("gasp!" - Monz), when he noticed someone behind him. It was a high school girl wearing a spaghetti strap top and low rider jeans that she almost but not quite could get away with. Her expression was a cutting combination of bemusement and disgust. The EIC placed the bottle back in the cart, along with the hastily grabbed beef stroganoff, and stared intently at the Chicken Helpers (tm) while she passed by. Obviously we should have stayed home for a turkey breast sandwich, cheddar cheese and mustard on WG bread, with apples and carrots, like the Monz. That's what we get for having mocked Vanessa Williams.
The editor in chief shares the following story in the hopes that it will help someone out there. Like many other adults who suffer in silence, the EIC suffers from adult acne. Not "oh my G_d, you're 40 and you have pimples on your face!" acne but the "oh my G_d, I'm 40 and I'll get pimples if I don't use this s***"!" acne. Usually the EIC purchases such products while doing some weekend shopping for the folks, when he can hide the purchase behind the cloak of anonymity that a long shopping list and full shopping cart provides. But this past weekend he was at the folks' both days and Sunday, and thus was only doing his own shopping at Jewel/Osco when he placed the Neutrogena (tm) clear poor oil-controlling astringent in his cart. Then, in the prepared food section ("gasp!" - Monz) the bottle slipped through the wide railings at the top of the cart and tumbled to the floor, where apparently the cap wasn't on tight enough and some squirted out. Dismayed and disgusted, the EIC was about to put the bottle on an empty space on the shelf by the Betty Crocker Complete Meal Beef Stroganoff ("gasp!" - Monz), when he noticed someone behind him. It was a high school girl wearing a spaghetti strap top and low rider jeans that she almost but not quite could get away with. Her expression was a cutting combination of bemusement and disgust. The EIC placed the bottle back in the cart, along with the hastily grabbed beef stroganoff, and stared intently at the Chicken Helpers (tm) while she passed by. Obviously we should have stayed home for a turkey breast sandwich, cheddar cheese and mustard on WG bread, with apples and carrots, like the Monz. That's what we get for having mocked Vanessa Williams.
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