Monday, January 30, 2006
You're Looking Like You Like What You See!
Because Monz does not stiffle opinions, even those diametrically opposite of his own, and because today's lunch was a relatively unexciting footlong turkey sandwich from Subway on hearty Italian, we hereby publish the following e-mail sent from a group calling itself We Will Rise Up!
>>Once it was Mick Jagger. Then it was George Michael. Today our children are under assault by a new soldier in Satan's service: Beyonce. Called "unstoppable" by New York Times music critic Kaleaf Sennah, her new single "Check on It" is masterful in its insidious appeal. We say this becaues the "it" referred to in the song changes gender-meanings. Our Code of Wholesomeness prevents us from citing specific lyrics, but if you listen carefully, while the "it" usually refers to Beyonce's "it," in the chorus "it" switches back and forth between Beyonce and the paramour (apparently a man who goes by the name "Slim Thug," though it's possible that the producers didn't know his name and this is just a description). What is the purpose of this? Sloppy lyricism? Playful banter? No! It is designed to burrow into the teenage subconcious, aided and abetted by you know what, to utterly confuse our children and turn them into ho-mo-sex-u-als! In the past we said "burn the CD's!" Now Satan has turned even that term to his advantage! We must burn those I-tunes gift cards, take black markers to the shinny disks, and save ourselves. Turn, or burn! <<
Because Monz does not stiffle opinions, even those diametrically opposite of his own, and because today's lunch was a relatively unexciting footlong turkey sandwich from Subway on hearty Italian, we hereby publish the following e-mail sent from a group calling itself We Will Rise Up!
>>Once it was Mick Jagger. Then it was George Michael. Today our children are under assault by a new soldier in Satan's service: Beyonce. Called "unstoppable" by New York Times music critic Kaleaf Sennah, her new single "Check on It" is masterful in its insidious appeal. We say this becaues the "it" referred to in the song changes gender-meanings. Our Code of Wholesomeness prevents us from citing specific lyrics, but if you listen carefully, while the "it" usually refers to Beyonce's "it," in the chorus "it" switches back and forth between Beyonce and the paramour (apparently a man who goes by the name "Slim Thug," though it's possible that the producers didn't know his name and this is just a description). What is the purpose of this? Sloppy lyricism? Playful banter? No! It is designed to burrow into the teenage subconcious, aided and abetted by you know what, to utterly confuse our children and turn them into ho-mo-sex-u-als! In the past we said "burn the CD's!" Now Satan has turned even that term to his advantage! We must burn those I-tunes gift cards, take black markers to the shinny disks, and save ourselves. Turn, or burn! <<
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