monzyummylunch

The Place for Answers!

Last night was a momentous occasion as Monz returned to the stage after many years, kind of like the way an injured slugger does a stint in Class A ball before returning to the big leagues. The plan was to jam at an area open mike night (where the jammers come onstage in groups). How did it go down? How did lunch go down? We found out this afternoon. And because our readers are so smart, we are going to post Monz' answers to our questions and let you, dear reader, surmise the questions!

In the car.

Office.

Home.

Waiting for contractor dudes.

Oh yeah, I ate lunch. Do youw want to know what it is?

Liver sausage on a toasted bagel, string cheese and an apple.

I suppose.

Liverwurst?

Last night was [expletive] heinous

You could say that -- yeah it was bad.

(pause - no question)

First of all, it's hosted by [Host Who Cannot Be Named] and you know who [Host Who Cannot Be Named] is -- the music place on old familiar road?

Yeah, you know, he's always been a dick to me even when I was a little kid and he used to sell guitars out of the back of his car. SO they have this kinda sensible policy where you have to hit the stage tuned up or that's it. So they anounce my name ...I whip my guitar out and pull out my tuner, and my tuner is broken (burP) so I start freaking out. So some dude lends me his tuner but...it's a piece of shit...so I ran out into the hallway and try to tune it by ear but I can't hear a fucking thing because the band is so loud...I get it tuned to a reaosonbale semblence and hit the stage and [Host Who Cannot Be Named] goes out of his mind, "this is what happens..." hissy fit...and I'm thinking ...but can't afford to take a break so he pulls out his tuner and ...."line go in the middle"....this is horrible...

Now, on the signup sheet it asks what kind of music, right?

(to the editors:) Fuck you, it wasn't funny at all!

I wrote "really simple blues and rock" because I didn't want my very first time to be some tune I've never played before and try to figure it out. First tune is real simple, no big deal. He nods over to me and I play a solo. It wasn't the worst or best ...[Host Who Cannot Be Named] rolling eyes, apparently I'm supposed to keep going, tries to signal to keyboard guy but I'm blocking his line of vision. The tune ends and I'm thinking ok, I lived, not bad. [Host Who Cannot Be Named] says "ok, Stormy Monday in (odd key)" old blues standard but it's not typical, way more complicated. So I'm trying to figure it out and there's a singer guy he's got the sheet music so I'm looking at it and the sheet is in the key of A and I'm trying to figure it out and transpose it -- it's not the most hard thing to do in the world but it's hard when you're up on stage for the first time in years, so I turned the volume on my guitar way down but he nods me a solo and I play it but the chord progression doesn't fit a standard (key) and it sounds like crap. I make it through the tune and we live. [Host Who Cannot Be Named] says "one more tune" and it's anounced -- some standard blues tune in the key of C. So, ok, fine I can play that easy enough and I'm playing it and this one I can totally solo to and, of course, no solo for Monz, no nod, and he's denied (burp). So I was like fuck it, I'm out of there. And everyone in the audience was like "Oh man, you were good!" but I wasn't in the mood and thinking [deleted] (emphasis added by editors)

I stuck around to watch the next group, who were really good and knew the tunes already. [Host Who Cannot Be Named] likes to play with them.