monzyummylunch

Deep in the Heart!
Greetings from Beaumont, Texas, where the editors are on assignment and on expense account! But that doesn't excuae dereliction of duties, so let's get to it: Monday's lunch was leftover Hunan Veg from China Star (Don). "Eh." Thankfully today was much better, as Monz and Mrs. Monz (yes, we mean it this time) travel to old fave Louis and discover an overlooked cheeze pizza which was eclamation-point-yummy (plus salad).

Meanwhile the editors taok advantage of their paid-up food fare and finally made it to the southwestern burger chanin they have had so many close calls: Whataburger! The burger was quite good (if odd delivery system for the ketchup), the fries were fair, the drink was huge, and we finally discovered what happened to the original McDonald's apple friend (you know, the deep fried one).

Wrap It Up, He'll Take It!

A surprisingly satisfying veggie wrap at Bistro 17. We're under a gag order as to the details of what was under discussion at the lunch table (tables?), so instead we'll just wish everyone a happy Canada Monday!

Ker-rack!

A forelorn footlong vegie delight from Subway, bonusized with Baked Lays.

The MYL crack team of investigative reportors has done it again! This time they've uncovered rock-solid evidence of fraud by the Miller Brewing Company!

Radio listeners have probably heard an advertisement promoting Miller Lite as the only beer that meets the standards of the "More Taste League." Here is a rough transcription of part of this ad:

>>The more taste league was formed to preserve a man's ability to kick back in front of the game with a great tasting beer...Miller Lite is the only light beer which meets the league standard of three point two grams of carbs, 96 calories and no sacrificing taste. As commissioner, I will be enforcing the standards of this one beer league.<<

Ah, but what about Miller's other light beer: Miller Genuine Draft 64? It appears to meet the league's standards as far as nutritional content. Thus it must "sacrifice taste." Miller is admitting that this beer, while light, is swill! Yet at the Miller Genuine Draft web site (www.mgd.com -- no direct link b/c of age-restricted firewall) Miller claims that MGD 64 has "all the flavor" of MGD, and MGD is "full of flavor." So what is it Miller? Does all MGD product suck? Or just the 64 product? Somewhere, someway, you're being deceptive! (And if MGD 64 is suddenly added to the approved beers of the More Taste League, you'll know who was responsible!)

Miley Cyrus Yummy Lunch!

Monz has his sights set on lunch
And he's ready to aim
He has an appetite
That will never be tamed
He knew that Fong's was special
From the signage they hanged
Now he can't wait to eat lunch again

Monz has a way of knowing
When the food is light
Not nearly as greasy
As it was last time
Vegetable Egg Foo Young
Filling, yummy, not lame
Now he can't wait to eat lunch again

Last time that we came up
We went to Ken-o-sha
We kept st-stutering while the food never came out
Felt like we'd never eat
We asked "what's wrong with them?"
The yelp.com post said "oh they're just challenged servicely"
The next time we chow down
We won't put up with clowns
Our mouths can't wait till then
Oh-oo-woah
Monz can't wait to eat lunch again

Kontrasts!
Home-brought lunch of a vegan burger and yellow beet/potato/corn melange on the side, and bean melange 2nd side, all originally from Whole Foods. The intake staff also misunderstood that yesterday was an office staff lunch.

Meanwhile, is this the worst product evah? And who thought that MTV gave away the entire season worth of Hills plots in the one minute "season preview" at the end? We know one person who didn't: Monz!

Indian Summer!

Back in the states, Monz with Mrs. Monz heads to Bombay Garden in Gurnee for an Indian Buffet kinda-treat (because it was kinda-ok).

Continental!

Back in London Town, Monz dines at Carluccio's, which apparently is something like a British Olive Garden (but do they have the endless and bottomless?) Tortoloni, followed by geletino. Hey, is that the Bacci's dude over in the corner?!?! Just funnin' the Monz!

That's the Fact Jack!
Yes, he heard our plea and no, he didn't check the blog (when Monz is in England, Monz is off the grid on purpose!) -- Monz reports that today he had a ham sandwich at Alvertson Manor ("Tavern ham?" "No, I don't know what ham, but this wasn't it"). Yesterday Monz had pad thai at the Thai Boat House, with corn cakes (hearing something in our silence, Monz added that he was already on the boat and there was little choice or voice in the matter). Tuesday Tragedy: no lunch for Monz!

Cheers!
Transatlantic communications are what they used to be, as we've only received but one lunch report from Monz as he visits the motherland. Saint Stevens Pub in jolly ol' London (just across from the Parliment building). Hummus appetizer ("what?!" we cried) followed by bangers and mash and a half-pint of Badger Ale (yay!).

Crossing Continents!
As we bid farewell to our North Korean alternamonz, we turn to ultra-exciting news: Monz, with Mrs. Monz, is heading to England today for a much-deserved vacation!

Can this be a coincidence? We think not!

Before heading off to the airport, She Who Cannot Be Named prepared a Yum!-inducing cornucopia of soba noodles, monz-grrown tomatoes, monz-grown hot peppers, onions, mushrooms, broc all mixed togather with hot sauce. Plus a dessert of strawberry, kiwi, pluot and banana.

And Monz Loves...! Monz loves an action packed PB&J with chips, guacamole and miscellaneous stuff from the back of the fridge, especially when it's en transit and in the flow. "MYL at its most guerilla and yummy!"

READER ALERT!
Special Monz news tomorrow!

Everybody Loves Him!
She Who Cannot Be Named conglomorates some organic wheat kernels and onions, mushrooms, and red peppers into a feast for the eyes and stomach. Add a colorful fruit bowl of kiwi, peaches, and white-looking nectariney thing. And a caffeine free diet coke (Monz supplied that, but from the same refrigerator).

Kids Love Him!
Leno's...we think Monz means a dittolunch, but his report is a little inscrutible.

Ladies Love Him!
Monz takes the staff to Louie's for lasagna, in-part because he's such a great boss, in part because he's missing Bacci's.

Everybody's Crazy About a Sharp Dressed Monz!
North Korean Monz bears an uncanny resemblance to Monz himself, bringing joy to all by bringing lunch! What's in that pot anyway? Maybe it's salad or spaghetti from Louie's, an old fave revisited.