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Monday, June 30, 2008

Standing Tall!

Many years ago there was a tall Illinois lawyer with an honest face and manner, who dared to buck the tide of opinion of the established and oh-so-distinguished Illinois bar. In 2008 another character of similar description repeats history of sorts, standing up for his beliefs at the bar's annaul convention. Now back home, he faces the crushing weight of workdrum: court at the Daley Center in the morn, clients who blow him off in the aft. In between: Subway for a footlong veggie delite on wheat. Not delightful, not delicious, not delovely, but adequate.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Deep Six!

End of the week catch-up as the still illin editors valiantly continue to blog through the pain.

Want to know why Bistro 17 did the deep six? Read this flashback!

Meanhwile, Monz heads south to visit that city of Jonathan Franzen fame: St. Louis! Yesterday tragedy: no lunch for Monz! Today at an awards luncheon that idiotically did not give Monz an award: Salad plus a plate of portobello mushrooms, rice and broccoli. Monz was forced to eat the broccoli because there was so little substanance to be found. His description? "Some were creepy." Fear itself.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word!

The editors appologize for not reporting on Monz lunch yesterday, as a sudden cold/fever/flu/whatnot took hold of them and has not let go. Monz went to Fong's for a pre-St Louis hot/sour soup and pad thai noodles, which was good, and hopefully not like Ming Toy.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Abandon All Hope Ye Who Taxi Here!

This past Saturday night the EIC was trying to get home from a wild party in Lincoln Park, and inadvertently flagged a cab whose number was...666! It was owned by the Flash Taxi Company, and their lightning-bolt logo was particularly ominous given the context! Summoning the spirit of the Monz (if not channeling it), the EIC enterred into the cab and attempted to engage the driver in some banter about the number. He was met with the scoffing disdain of a taxi driver version of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi: "There are other cabs they can take! Stupid superstition!" Then...

"Wait!" shouts the Literary Editor (LE). "You said you were, er, pretty inebriated that night. And the MYL book club has read "Life of Pi." Is this some allegory, or figment of your immagination?"

No more than Monz' lunch of a Whole Foods vegan harvest loaf sandwich, apple and nectarine. That cab was as real as that lunch was yummy!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Bistro Buh-Bye!

As Monz says goodbye to a not-so-old not-so-friend (Bistrow 17), he postpones saying hello to a newer, better friend by heading to Subway for a footlong veggie delight.

Friday, June 20, 2008

You're Smart, Figure It Out!
During the cold war, there was much thought and discussion about the differences between Russia and China. Today the difference is clear: the above is Russia, which stands in stark contrast to Monz after yesterday's lunch.

Can't stop the lunch! "Late lunch at cheesecake factory - guacamole and portobello/asparagus omelet."

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Monz' Ming Toy Joy Boy Soy!

Monz brings back Chinese Food Friday via Canada Monday by heading over to Ming Toy for some hot and sour soup, chow vegetable kow and veggie fried rice. Not quite as good as he remembered, but comforting that it isstill in business.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Lost and Saved!

Early Monz lunch report: Subway for footlong veggie on wheat (which came with Scrooge-like mustard proportions). But that was just the start of the bad news: Bacci's is no more! The place was dark, the name scratched off the side window, no tables or chairs at the bar. Mourning ensued.

In his grief, Monz needed to learn the truth. Was Bacci's a self-inflicted wound? With understanding comes peace.

And then: know hope.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Giving Thanks for Our Daily Bread!

Today Monz went to Fong's for Singapore Noodles with tofu and hot and sour soup. No rice! No bread! Not even a roll!

Monday, June 16, 2008

You Scream, Monz Screams, We All Scream!

Monz bounds back to Los Volcanes for a potato taco, a boiled egg taco (?!) and a roblenno pepper taco. Good at first. Monz also spied the Los Volcanes staff making ice cream in the back in a wooden barrel surrounded by ice -- seemingly the old fashion way. "Ice cream?" they offered. Monz ordered! But instead he was served a crushed ice + pineapple concentrate concoction. Yummy enough, but not the real thing.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Il Forno!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Monz the Merry!

The Editors did a quick double-take when they read this Monz missive:

>>A ditto lunch WITH THE ADDITION of a banana!!!!! Wow! Does it get any more exciting???? NO WAY!!!!!<<

Then it dawned on us: surely Monz

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


From the MYL mailbag:

>>Dear Editors:

I was wondering, did Yum Brands ever respond to your cease and desist letter?

Casey Amitasty<<

Dear Casey:

Terms are confidential, but you may have noticed that all the offending advertising has long since ceased. And really, would you try to compete with Whole Food Barbeque vegan burger on whole wheat, an apple, and a microscopic bit of leftover Fongs?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Clark McDerment!

Today Monz was able to complete a previously planned trip to Los Volcanes, in which he consumed the intriguingly named cactus taco, and ensalada Mexicano, the latter a salad of lettuce, cactus, tomatoes, onions and cilantro topped with fresh squeezed lime Monz described as "refreshing."

Monday, June 09, 2008

Blues You Can't Use!

After a tiring trip to Urbana, IL, a weary Travel Editor (TE) checks into the Illini Union Hotel (his favorite, the Hampton Inn, being booked). He is given a room. When he arrives at the room, there is a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. He looks for a phone number to call the front desk. Damn, left it in the car! He hesitates -- it's a looooong walk back to the check-in desk. WTF, he knocks. No answer. He uses the key. It opens. Nobody is there, but the room is a stuffy mess! Back to the check-in desk, where he is given apologies and a new room. Enters. Hmm - that alarm clock looks suspicious. Checks the alarm -- whisper quiet. Calls the front desk. 20 rings, no answer. Waits 5 minutes and repeats. Waits another 5 minutes and repeats. Back downstairs to demand a wake-up call. "No problem." "Well, I'm concerned the phone isn't working - I tried to call here for the last 20 minutes and nobody answered, and there's a note about renovations in the room." "Oh," said the desk clerk, "we just had some calls for reservations, so we didn't pick up." This angrifies the TE. "Hmm. I guess I'm lucky I wasn't having a heart attack and that was my one call, huh?"


"I guess that's true. Do you still want the wake-up call?"

The moral of this tale is that things should just work, but often they don't. Like the Monz, who had a bluesless bluesy Fong's lunch (Singapore noodles) when really he wanted to return to Los Volcanes only to find a sad sign in the window that a pressing family matter had closed the place.

Friday, June 06, 2008


The Media Editor (ME) was watching a critically acclaimed television series the other day when he observed a perturbing scene: a daughter is arguing with her mother about getting her drivers license. During the scene she says that she has received her learning "perMIT" (accenting the second syllabul).

Now, surely the producers caught this mistake. Why not re-shoot the scene? Money? Effort? Whatever the reason, they did not go the extra mile.

Monz went the extra 35 miles: down to the Chicago Yacht Club for a professional development lunch with a top domestic relations judge. The CYC repaid this dedication with a quality buffet. Monz' applies his creativity to create a grilled pepper and cheese sandwich on wheat, salad, potatos and chilled melon and rum soup! After taking a constitutional through Millenium Park it was back to the office -- the Chicago office that is!

(Editors Note: The editors will be traveling the next several days -- blogging will continue but possibly at odd times, so be not alarmed).

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Adventures in English!
Monz creates a new punctuation mark: the dihook! It's like a ditto mark, but it makes a big horizontal arc and skips lines (days) to copy material not directly below, but close! That's right, Whole Food Vegan Barbeque Burger on whole wheat bun, and an apple.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Van Halen Yummy Lunch!

Monz eats his lunch like there's a tomorrow
Lean and healthy so that he-won't-be
Getting hit by old folks' home workers
Yes he's eating and he feels no guilt

Salad at the Dog House!
Salad at the Dog House!

Let us tell you about it

Monz and Mrs. Monz went to Gurnee
Drove right to Old Chicago Red Hots
Monz got a salad, a salad called "Ceasar"
Monz got a sald and some "other stuff"
Salad at the Dog House!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Van Halen Yummy Lunch!

Well we say it's kinda frighting how these rocking lawyers eat
You know it's not a new creation
The Monz is into rocking peeps
When he's not in court, he's practising
A new lunch would be an aggravation

And the lunch blog will clone
Yes the lunch blog will clone
And we say "Ditto!"

And when a Waukegan star gets down
They try to give his lunch a frown
They say you could have at least changed it, boy
(changed it, boy)
So at an early hour he hits the sack
Opens his mouth and tosses it back
In the office, so he stays (self-)employed
(Mrs. Monz is overjoyed)

Have you seen Monz' lunch?

Monday, June 02, 2008

Van Halen Yummy Lunch!

Have you seen it
So fine and yummy, fooled Monz with it's meaty taste
And he feels it way down in the gut
Yes it's lunch from that grocery place

Ooh, Whole Foods Whole Foods
Sell veggie barbeque all day
Ooh, Whole Foods Whole Foods
Your fake meat has us fooled, it's good enough to

Fool the fat away
Come on, come on fool the fat way

A dead plant
But not too far from harvest
It's the way Monz likes to go
Lots of fruits
Apple, grapes and nectarines
Keeps the hunger low

Oooh, Whole Foods Whole Foods
Wontcha take our bucks away
Oooh, Whole Foods Whole Foods
Well don't fertalize
You don't have to kill the flies and
Fool the fat away

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