monzyummylunch

We Be Illin'!

This might be a first for MYL: no lunch for Monz two times in the same week?!?! Yesterday's lunch apparently has poisoned the Monz as-if he were a high level Russian dissident from the Putin regime visiting England!

Meanwhile, we wish all our dear readers a happy, safe, and yummy Labor Day weekend!

Superb in Every Word!

Over to Taste of Downtown Waukegan for some fried rice. Nobody in that picture looks like the Monz, but hey, it's Fong's!

Be Not Afraid!Yesterday's lunch tragedy combined with an airplane trip booking has the EIC recalling a flick of his youth: Airport '75. Frightened the beejeebees out of him -- not so much the flick but that poster with the pilot flying out of the cockpit. Yikes! And then came word today: Monz brought a frozen Amy's potpie to work. "Opened and prepared to cook it but . . . oh no! No can microwave!!! Aiee!"

Is life just one big star-studded (check out that poster again - double click to enlarge) disaster film? Monz is here to assure us it isn't! "So I ran to Fong's for a quick veg soup and farmer's market." Phew!

Bedtime for Monzo!

No lunch report as of this writing!

Need to Know Basis!

All I needed to know I learned in Kindergarden.-Robert Fulgham

"Most of THE IMPORTANT THINGS that a human being ought to know CANNOT BE COMPREHENDED IN YOUTH" Robert Hutchins, President, University of Chicago (as quoted in The Learning Company catalog, emphasis supplied)

"Yum!" - Monz, after a Leno's 10" veggie sub with no 'yuns.

Hey, Hey, LBJ!
After receiving this message from the Monz...

Ditto -- it is a custom made ma po tofu dish -- with non-fried tofu, broccoli, baby corns, mushroom and bamboo shoots. So yummy that I thought I ought to give you the opportunity to blog about it again!!!

We were inspired to blog a quote from the above-pictured 1968 classic, which the Political Editor (PE) purchased earlier this week at Chicago's new supersecret downtown used book store.

In trying to keep unecessary expenditures down I believe the President ought to be as unsatisfied as a little boy's appetite

. Draw your own conclusions!

Out Rain!

A soggy editors deal with power outages in Monz' hometown and geezer EIC's who leave their MYL notes on the copy desk. After intervenous administration of copious quantities of ginkgo, he remembers that Monz went to Fongs and ordered them to specially create a veggie dish that included bamboo shoots and mushrooms and some other veggies the thought of which pleased the Monz.

For Peet's Sake!

Several years ago the Food Editor (FE) became a sucker for Starbucks' ultra-expensive "estate" coffee offerings, shelling out big $$$ for pretty good but not spectacular coffee. With one exception: Aged Sumatra, a unique, angular, bold roast that is strong in the first flush of taste and nuanced in the lingering flavor. And then it was gone! So you can imagine the FE's pleasant surprise to find the flavor was available at his (kinda local/ultra-expensive) Peet's Coffee. He ordered a pound. The pound was ground. He brought it home and scooped a few mounds. Then out of his mouth came a withering sound! Their ground wins no crowns! It was too fine -- almost espresso ground powdery. Soley to save future coffee lovers the same fate, the FE called Peet and though he insisted he was not asking for a refund or other refundation, the kind Peet-ete who answered insisted on shipping him another pound, ground properly. And she did! Who does such nice, munificient things anymore? Monz, of course! Kashi black bean mango, a small pita with hummus & cucumbers, and some clementines -- a lunch so peacefully yummy it makes you think of riding first class on a 747 going from SF to New Dehli.

Hoosier Daddy?!
Lunch Daddy that is! We mean, you could take the advice of the Great Indiana State Fair above, or a "pretty damn good" Whole Kitchens (?) frozen pad thai with tofu, and two clementines. Monz wants you to live, Indiana wants you to die!

Don't Be Confused!

For months now NFL superstar Michael Vick has sworn that he was innocent and would fight the charges he not only organized dog fights, but committed caninecide. Today he copped a plea. Some of his supporters are wondering what could have made him change his mind. Well, let's just say if you hurt a dog, you've hurt the Monz. And you don't want to hurt the Monz. Did Monz get some phone calls today? We're not saying, we're just saying.

We're also saying the EIC blew it and left his reporter's notes at his remote office. He recalls it was BOPO, Louie's style, which meant faux meatless-sauce, but made up by some decent bread.

It Takes Two, Two!

We had a nifty name for today's edition of the FE's two-ingredient recipe series, until a disturbed individual who shall go nameless sent us some appetite-losing pictures of a rattlesnake bite injury. So we'll just give it to you plain: salsa and vanilla ice cream. Try it, you'll like it!

Try Monz' lunch today of black Mushrooms and bamboo shoots from Fong's and you may not like it: "Better than last week. Interesting. Ok."

We're Insulted!

Prior to consulting the Starbuck's Oracle to see what it said about Monz, the Food Editor (FE) asked it to evaluate his favorite drink, but is too shocked to put it on the main blog, so we relegate it to the comments.

So what did the Oracle think of Monz' order, a tall iced decaf?

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Freak

No person of sound mind would go to an EXPENSIVE COFFEE SHOP to get a drink WITHOUT CAFFEINE. Your hobbies include going to ski resorts in the summer and flushing $5 bills down the toilet. You are a menace to society.

Also drinks: Non-alcoholic beer
Can also be found at: Pools with no water

Then we asked the Oracle what he thought of Monz' lunch: a vegatable sandwich from Three Tarts:

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "vegatable sandwich" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves.

Can't fool the Oracle or the Monz. Hmm, anyone seen them together?

You Don't Lose When You Lose Fake Friends!

Joan Jett sang today's important post title before there was a craigslist, but it's apt nontheless! Because this post will not be around forever, we reprint it below before commenting:

>> Need a friend?! - w4m - 23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-397614887@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-15, 10:35AM CDT

I am a porfessional friend....SERIOUSLY!

I am honest, fun, loyal, a good listener, and I give great advice. I make time for everyone in my life, even if it is just a quick call to say hello.

SO maybe you need someone to remember your birthday?....OR someone to go shopping with and tell you whether or not you should buy that shirt?....DO you need a "wing man" to help you talk to the ladies at the bar?...IS there a cocktail party at work that you always have to go to alone?

These are all things I can help you with! I am attractive and easy to get along with and ready to BE YOUR FRIEND!

Of course all great things in life aren't free, but if you want to talk out the details and get a photo, email me! <<

Not that we're trying to deny this woman a business opportunity, but who needs her when you have the Monz? Monz will tell you how to remember a birthday (it's called Google Reminders or any number of like-minded services). Monz not only knows the Eliza AI conversation program, but he improved upon it with "Dr. Seif"! MYL is here for you 24/7, and if you e-mail us with questions about what to do at that singles bar, we think Monz will answer them! And he'll tell you how to make a yummy lunch at Stir Crazyw with lots of vegetables, extra baby corn and water chestnuts, and mixed sauces and much, much more! Plus an apple.

It Takes Two!

Years ago an innovative cookbook made a mild splash with the theory you could create great, innovative cuisine with only three ingredients. Inspired by Monz, the Food Editor (FE) anounces a bombshell new series to rock the cullinary world: cooking with two ingredients! Slavishly tested in the MYL kitchens, you and Monz are sure to enjoy!

Today's recipe: Smokehouse peas. Take a package ofTillamook (tm) smoked cheddar cheese (often on-sale at Jewel), cut some thin slices, mix with a heated can of green peas (well heated so the tougher-than-usual cheese melts). Mix and enjoy! And if you don't, go to Leno's for a 10 inch veggie sub, like, you know...

Not Our Papa!

Case study on a disconnect: Papa John's claims to be recognized as America's best pizza chain. Waukegan has a PJ's. Monz likes pizza. Monz never goes there. So a week ago from last Sunday, the Food Editor (FE) drove to Waukegan for what must have been Lake County's longest takeout order. "Hmm," he said as he headed back home, open pizza box on the front seat. "This is a good crust. These veggies are fresh. But something is wrong...off somehow..." and then, at the red light on Martin Luther King Drive and US 41, he saw it. A garlic sauce/spread/something on the side. It was the sauce: it was sweet, not appealingly unsalty, without any bite to it. A-ha! he thought. That's why there was a special line of pizzas that had "robusto" sauce! But that's no matter -- the regular line should be robust-o enough, and gas is too pricey to turn back. Thus, the FE reports that he cannot recommend Papa John's to Monz for a yummy lunch. Monz apparently knew this, as lunch was Amy's Indian Mattar tofu, an apple, grapes and flax bread.

Laying Down La Ley!

Riders on the CTA's world famous "el" trains for the past several months have been treated to advertisements for "La Ley," a local Spanish radio station. What confuses the language editor is "La Concha." The Shell? What kind of nickname is that? Of course the other (afternoon) pair shown in the ad is "Gato y La Barbie" and while gato looks a bit like a cat, La Barbie looks like a guy in drag (she's much better looking on the website photo. And if it turns out La Barbie is a guy in drag, we're going to be very embarassed). In any event, Monz lays down the law round these parts, and today Lunch is the Law! Leno's for a 10 inch veggie sub, WITH 'yuns -- now there's a message that needs no translation!

Farmer Monz!

Amy's Vegtable Lasagna and a peach purchased this very morning at the farmer's market at Chicago's Daley Plaza. Yes, purchased by Monz! Yes, Monz will be in Waukegan this afternoon! And yes, someone said "I dunno, chicks should be hot!" when doing the following poll, which, after watching Hillary and the boys at the recent Soldier's Field "labor issues" debate, we administered to the Monz to find out what kind of feminist he is.

You Are 77% Feminist

You are certainly a feminist - whether you know it or not. You believe in gender equality, at least most of the time. You also believe there are a few exceptions.

BOPO!

Monz reports:

Back in the early days of the old place, I used to go out with (usually) Aym or whoever to a place we lovingly called 'Tino's. I often had a craving for what I referred to as a "Big Ol' Plate 'O." It was understood that the plate would be of spaghetti. I'd walk down the hall in the morning and say, "Big Ol' Plate 'O?"

Then, things changed. An excursion to 'Tino's became a huge undertaking once the motivation to leave the office every day vanished [an individual who richly deseved the tormaenting he received at the hands of old place employees and visitors alike. Don't look under that piece of paper!] Occasionally I had a big ol plate o from some other joint, but it was never the same.

Today, Carb cravings kicked in and kicked my ass! I needed an upper-case Big Ol' Plate 'O!!! So, off to Bacci's I go!! I had Bruschetta and Angel Hair Pomodoro!

YYYUUUMMMM!!!!!!

Note: the ambience is much different from 'Tino's, but it'll do!

Amy Winehouse Yummy Lunch!

We tried to make Monz take a road trip
He said "no, no, no!"
"I got things to do
Need to go to the loo
You don't know, know, know"

"I ain't got the dime
I'd rather sit here with my rhymes
You made me take that trip to Michigan
And I remember last time!"

"I'd rather be home and play
I ain't got the less-than-one day
Cos there's nothing in these cities
I can't get at the mall, I say!"
I learned enough about the world in class
And haven't you seen the price of gas?"

We tried to make Monz take a road trip
He won't go, go, go!
But he will go to Fong's for the tripple vegatables and vegatable soup, daddy-o!

Yes!

Not that we had any doubts about Monz' new direction in lunch perfection, but we still sought reassurance that lunches like today's Amy's Mattar Tofu and apple were ace (and this was before the editors' Sunday's Waukegan pop-in restaurant critic, review to be published this week!). They are!

Samuri Monz!

We know the Monz doesn't like baseball, but if he did, we are positve his favorite player would be Seattle Mariner superstar Ichiro Suzuki. Why? Because Ichiro is being mocked, scorned, and held up to ridicule for wise sentiments that, well, might as well come from the mouth of the Monz himself.

Consider: on asked why he decided to stay in Seattle rather than test free agency, Ichiro mentioned one reason was his dog Ikky. "He said "woof woof woof" which meant "stay stay stay" -- of course, I listened." When asked about the team visiting to play the Cleveland Indians: "To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying." Crazy? Monzy!

Amy's Indian Vegetable Korma, Apple, Banana. Woof woof woof!

TV Is Your Friend!

When several years ago we here at MYL saw that we were getting visits from Afghanistan, we didn't stop to consider the potential effects. We should have, as a recent NY Times article about television in Afghanistan since the fall of the Taliban shows the extent of Monz' influence on that war-torn yet hopeful nature. Consider these exerpts:

>>Each night, people in Kabul obey the beckoning of prime time much as they might otherwise answer the call to prayer. “As you can see, there is truth on the television, because all over the world the mother-in-law is always provoking a fight,” said Muhammad Farid, a man sitting in a run-down restaurant beside the Pul-i-Khishti Mosque, his attention fixed on an Indian soap opera that had been dubbed into Dari.
...
In one restaurant after another...profound metaphysical questions hover in the dim light: Will Prerna find happiness with Mr. Bajaj, who is after all not the father of her child? “These are problems that teach you about life,” said Sayed Agha, who sells fresh vegetables from a pushcart by day and views warmed-over melodramas by night.
...
We’ve just bought the rights to ‘24,’ the American show,” he said. “We had some concerns. Most of the bad guys are Muslims, but we did focus groups and it turns out most people didn’t care about that so long as the villains weren’t Afghans.”
...
“It has been quite odd,” said Saad Mohseni, Tolo’s chief. “This is Afghanistan, a young democracy, and we don’t have problems with the drug dealers or the Taliban or even the local populace. Our problems are all with the government, either because of red tape or attempted censorship or someone with a vested interest trying to extract money.” He paused for effect. “With democracy comes television. It’s hard for some people to get used to.”<<

We don't know what will happen when they find out that today Monz had two Amy's Indian Samosa Wraps, apple and a banana, and pronounced "these wraps rock!"

Old School!

Monz engages is some nostalgia, lunching with the old gang at a party featuring good old spaghetti with "tom sauce" (?) from a local joint that was garlicky yet smooth on the palate.