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Thursday, May 27, 2004

Mr. Wendy's!

Mandarin Chicken Salad from Wendy's. The mandarine oranges were a nice change of pace and the bottle of salad dressing was of satiating proporotions, unlike a certain clown outfit "where you are left begging for more." Speaking of more, it came with a bag of almonds!

Tomorrow's lunch is up in the air, but we won't know until next week because the editors will be down on the road! Happy Memorial Day to all.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Fool Us Once!

The editors were walking downtown past a fairly posh office building and they spot a thirtysomething, well-dressed (if no suit) man standing outside the building talking on his cell phone. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But as we approached, he thrusted a watch in a small case out at us. OMG, he's hustling hot watches! We were fooled! The editors walked past him and towards the building, but then we turned around and stared at him. He was still talking on the phone, but upon noticing us he walked away.

This is sort of like how we were fooled today when Monz told us lunch was red pepper humous from Whole Foods. Sounds good, until the "two week old" part. Unsatisfying, so Monz folds-in a muffin he had at Starbucks in the same general time frame.


Tuesday, May 25, 2004


Due to a startling miscomunication (kinda like being in a strange town, ordering Who tickets from the Mobile Guide 3-star hotel's concierge, and being limo-ed to the Iron City Houserockers), we only have time to report Monz had two Portillo's dogs (steamed), no onions.

Monday, May 24, 2004


We were reading this sweet-natured column by Nick Hornby about listening to rock and roll as an adult and came across a vague reference to an article which gave high-props to a band he seemed to endorse as well (it's possible he was being ironic). Imagine our shock to see the reference was this (caution - you must be at least 21 and at most 45 to click on this link).

Kinda the way Monz was surprised at how yummy the cuisine was in St. Louis. Excellent everywhere he went, but the bbq pork/gumbo combo at some anonymous blues club took the prize.

Alas, it was back to Monday lunch tyranny and Monz, turckered out from yesterday's late-afternoon travel, could not fight the power. Beef/Muenster from Jewel.


Friday, May 21, 2004

Driven to Distraction!

The other day we were telling Monz about this site and he seemed to get a bit, well, distracted. Or at least we thought so -- the next thing out of his mouth was "Uh, you were saying something about something?"

Anyway, today Monz is on the road, hopefully distracted by the company of friendly coworkers, family, and/or entertainment. Monz is in St. Louis. We are blue.


Thursday, May 20, 2004

318 F. Supp. 116, 120 (S.D.N.Y. 1970)!

Were you to look up the court decision that is found at the above citation (Georgia-Pacific Corp. v. U.S. Plywood Corp.), you would find a list of 14 factors a judge considers when trying to imagine a hypothetical negotiation between two parties. What kind of negotiation? Well, in this case a negotiation over how much to pay for a patented invention.

But you don't need no stinkin' court case to know how negotiations over lunch go at Monz' place. We'll tell you! Amy wasn't there. People suggested Coluta's. Monz was too sick and tired to argue. Tortellini and tomato sauce. All was consumed!


Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Not by the Hair of Our Chummy-chum Chum!

Yesterday one of the editors headed out to a meetup.com event: travel chums. In other words, find people to go on trips with you. No, the editors are not fools and had just planned to scope out the scene, which had been viewed for months with some curiosity.

The event was scheduled for 7:00PM. At 7:05 our editor walked into the bar and asked the bartender where to go for the "travel meetup." Nowhere -- people just strangle in and nobody else had arived. A beer was ordered (second choice: Sierra Nevada - not bad but a little fruity). At 7:10 a very comely young woman comes in asking about meetup.com. Our editor perks up and says hello to this woman, only to hear the bartender interrupt and say "wait, I remember you, you're hear for the other meetup. Other meetup?! Ah yes,there was another meetup event planned for that bar that night (for which one dude at the other end of the bar had arrived): Athiests. Our editor went back to his beer.

By 7:25 the beer was gone, Barry Bonds had already been up to bat, and the editor was ready to get home early and watch 24 when a guy comes in looking for the travel meetup. We're not exactly sure how it happened, but somehow he winds up talking with the athiests and those two come over. Soon all four are exchanging travel stories and making jokes about the common ground between the two groups when another athiest comes in, and two would-be travelers come in. At this the groups splinter off. Bummer - the two newbie travelers included a heavily scented/language challenged/personality challenged Russian and a brooding/chain smoking Indian, who later in the evening seemed to get very upset at the term "Western religion."

Dear reader, you can imagine the existential dread this experience caused. Kinda like when Monz heard today's lunch anouncement: Taco Bell. Nothing more needs to be said, but if you're curious: 2 soft shell, 2 hard shell.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

The American Way!

The editors just got a call out of the blue from a corporate recruiter asking for a recommendation about someone they haven't spoke to in years. This person used to work for someone who rented office space. Uh....ok, so we talked them up the best we could, frantically struggling to conjure up scraps of memory which we could weave into a professional sounding tapestry. After all, that's the American way! And so was Monz' lunch - the Bennigan's American Burger! The surrounding circumstances were a bit indescript: an anouncement from Amy, a slog out of the office, an order of the the first thing to enter Monz' consciousness. But who knows what this might lead to?


Monday, May 17, 2004

We Always Hang in a Buffalo Stance!

This is too weird! We kid you not, this is what we had prepared this morning:

>>The editors join our grateful readers in thanking the Monz for taking the reigns of the blog during our absence. We knew Monz would liven things up, but color photos?! Wowsa! Though the "after" pic of the before/after Wendy's salad was a bit of an overshare...

Today Mark Monz is in court and we all know what that means: Anything is possible! We will try to update later, but for now we'll let you in on a couple of secrets the editors discovered in their travels.

First, free your mind: barbequed lamb!

Second, Pizza Hut Buffalo Wing Chicken pizza ain't half bad. There's enough of a kick in the sauce to make you head for the ranch dip. It even tastes a bit like buffalo wings. But here's a warning: don't use their Web site to order: major cold calling freak invitation in the fine print. And here's a caution: we can only vouch for the thin crust.<<

And this is what we got from Monz this afternoon:

>>buffalo blue sandwich from cosi. With carrots. And a cookie.
My tummy is weird, so the sandwich might be yummy, but I'd never know.<<


Friday, May 14, 2004

End of the Line!

Today is the last day of stint as guest-blogger. I wish I'd had the time and energy to fulfill my creative ambitions, but such was not to be. Last night I went out for dinner to a local brew-pub and I had the sheppards pie (that's how they spelled it!). A few bites in and I got this whoosh of heat and nausea and I still haven't recovered. There was something wicked in that pie!

Today We had Jeff's. Jeff's is a nice option in the world of shitty hot dog stands. They have a really good variety of lunch items to choose from, though today I had the char-broiled super-dog with everything but onions (including kraut) and a vienna beef dog with E no O's plus K. I made it half way through the Vienna when my heart whump-whumped and I split the room to recoup in my office. I went back and finished it off and started in on the Super Dog. A couple of bites in and I had to take another break. Ugh. I didn't finish it. So now I sit here recording these experiences, wishing I'd taken a photo of the dogs for you, or something to spice this up.

I just can't today. So I leave you back In Cuz's hands.


Thursday, May 13, 2004

Big Boy Now!

I wanted to experiment. Vicki's not in and I was on the road so I swung by McDonalds. I thought I'd go back what with all the positive financial info coming on them these days. So today I ordered one of their new Happy Meals(tm) for adults -- the GoActive Happy Meal. It was basically the same old thing (California Cobb Salad) with a toy (Stepometer) and a bottle of Dasani filtered tap water. Not exciting. And the cardboard box they gave it to me in was too big and made me feel guilty because its just going straight back to the recyclers. I think if they gave us better toys, this would work, but as it is . . .

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Sweet . . . AND Sour!!

Another day, another No.4. But word on the street says that they are now charging 50 cents to substitute chicken fried rice for shrimp fried rice! (Shrimp from a storefront chinese food joint -- need I say more?) So I absorb the cost and dive in. I don't feel so hot. I wish I had a digital camera here to capture this moment, because I'm betting it'll be awhile before I have another number 4.

Another quick word about lunch. The "others" watched All My Children on ABC while we dined. What an atrocious excuse for a show! There was some music video interlude involving poker and Texas high rollers, obviously calculated to cash in on the not-so-new poker craze. I had to read a magazine, and eat in stages to make it through.

Today's fortune says: "Wish You Long Life."

My response? "AAAAaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!" The smiley faces seem really evil today.


Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Wearing of the Green!

We had Bennigans again today. I ordered the Club Salad in an attempt to get back to not eating so much beast. Other food options present in the lunch room today included french dip (FRENCH ????) with extra jus, described as "not real good today," American Burger (no description available) and a Monte Cristo (no opinion available).

The Club Salad ain't cheap. So . . . less a little green I dug into my greens and came up . . . . . . . Yummy! Not bad for overpriced lettuce slathered in honey dijon dressing. In its wake I am currently suffering a little distress, but certainly not enough to revise my opinion.

Tonight I am going to the meeting for my homeowner's association. I have some beefs with some of the other homeowners. I hope I am OK by tonight!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Stormy Monday!

What a terrible way to start out my second week of guest-blogging! I am feeliing under the weather again. I have one of those headaches that affect every other system your body. I didn't have much of an appetite. As the thunderstorms roll in, I wrestled with what I ought to do.

It is Jewel sandwich day. So I said to myself, "What would I do if I was home?" The answer? Eat some frozen piece of crap or make a ham sandwich. So I ordered a custom ham-chicken-chedder monstrosity from their deli. I tried to make it different than last week, though the torpor was hard to fight. When it arrived, I cut it in half and forced down a half and started to feel a little better. I took a break and worked in my office a bit, then went back for the second half.

Well, it didn't quite heal me, but I felt better. Let me preview a little of what I have planned for the rest of this amazing week: I'll attempt to place my lunch in context and perhaps I'll add some more illustrations. Stay tuned.


Friday, May 07, 2004

The King is Dead!

How to end my first week of guest-blogging? I'll start by reflecting back on the week's lunches. From the lows of Wendy's to the highs of China House, it was an nourishing experience. None of these lunches made me sick, a high-point in itself, then again none demanded I partake again and again, except for that incredible #4! I was enriched by the endless struggle to find interest in and joy in the monotonous routine of lunches around here. This blogging experience motivates me to continue that struggle, and rise to even greater heights of lunching.

Which brings me to today's lunch. My heart broke when I was informed we were having Burger King, one of my most hated lunch options. I fought the lethargy and tried to drag myself out to get something unique. I lost that fight and checked out their menu on the web. Whoa! I said to myself. They had chili and "Fire-Grilled" Chicken Caesar salad. I ordered them up and partook. I'll tell you. Burger King still sucks. The chili tasted like Hormel and the salad, while better than the chili, did not live up to expectations. It was only ok -- they tried hard with cheese and warm chicken delivered in a separate bag, but it just didn't gel.

So what is the ratio for the week? 1 yummy lunch, 4 OK lunches that didn't make me sick. I'm inspired to try and change this next week.

Oh yes! I feel I must address the debate that yesterday's pictures have inspired. Some proponents thanked me for posting them, feeling they added a new dimension to MYL. Some believed they constituted "overshare," especially the empty salad bowl. To them I respond that every battle leaves a battlefield strewn with the ugly products of war. This is a battle: a battle for yummy lunch. Be strong and wave your lunch flags proudly! Together we WILL WIN this battle!

Thursday, May 06, 2004


It was a busy morning in court today. I am tired. I sludged back to the office. Wendys. I ordered an Ultimate Chicken Grill, Caesar Side Salad, and a small Frosty.

Behold before & after!

The food was OK, not quite yummy. The lettuce was gross, so I left it for the landfill to be chewed by rats. I hope that is the path fate has me assigned!

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

bhfuil Update!

There was a fortune cookie on the table right in front of me at lunch today. It was left over from yesterday. So I opened it and ate it. Did you know that the fortune won't come true unless you eat the WHOLE cookie first before you even look at the fortune? This shows the ancient Chinese gods that you are a committed human being.

Should I be scared? What does this mean? What exactly is going to happen if I depart from the path? Something excrutiatingly horrible? Or something kickass that some mean and jealous fortune cookie god wants me to miss out on? How do I know if a decision I make is or isn't in keeping with what fate has assigned? The little smiley faces freak me out because this fortune seems kind of threatening.

Oh yeah, the sandwich was ok, but boy am I full!
An bhfuil ocras ort?!!

It's mercifully hard to remember how grim lunch was around here merely a couple short years ago. The area I work in is industrial and a lunch that didn't involve hot dogs and fries was miles and miles away. That's why something like Bennigans was such a treat when it first became an option. When I look at their menu nowadays, reading and rereading the same-old stupid-named over-priced options, I always try to remember that such bounty was unavailable to me not long ago.

Today I am having a County Cork Club. Vicki's not back yet, so I may yet regret being so happy Bennigans is around.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

In My Shoes II!

Damn I love that #4!!
In My Shoes!

My dad got a job as an extra on a film that's shooting at his retirement village!

Anyway, the sewer guys were at my house until close to 11 last night, grinding away at the roots that clogged the sewer line. Problem solved. Today is a busy day, with lots of writing and thinking in store. I had to run back home with a truck and load some chairs that were sitting in my garage and bring them back to work. Since I was going to miss the crucial lunch negotiations today, I asked Vicki to pick something for me. I trust her. And I admit that I liked the idea of a grab-bag yummy lunch. Guess what she picked?

#4 from the new chinese place!

I'll let you know how it was later. I was also thinking of borrowing a digital camera so you readers can appreciate the visual aspect of my lunch. You know, Wolfgang Puck and his ilk are always going on about stuff like that: food needs to look good to be good and all that (I don't necessarily agree!). We'll see. . . .


Monday, May 03, 2004

Scared 'a Nothin'!

So I was trying to think of a way to start off this guest-blogging thing with a bang. I've never done it before, let alone blog my own lunch, let alone follow in the footsteps (albeit temporarily) of the great Cousin! The pressure is on! My stress level rose as I battled both terrible problems at home and painful personal tragedies. What a day. But I ain't chicken, I just ate one!

Attentive readers will note that Monday is usually Jewel day around here. So rather than go with the trad beef-wich or turk-wich, I had them custom make a chicken and cheddar combo guaranteed to satisfy both readers and my stomach. Not half bad, though not tremendously yummy. At least its giving me the nutrition and strength I need to heal both home and body.

Now I gotta run, first back to work and then home to move some heavy file cabinets. I'll let you know how it turns out.


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