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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Early on Eliot!
March is the cruellest month, blogging
laziness out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
McDougal's Dittolunches with plastic spoon.
Friday kept us warm, covering
lunch in a memorable pea, splitting
Monday's little life with tortilla liquified.
Tuesday surprised us, padding the Thai,
With a shower of apples and some clementines

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Monz Without Monz!

Thanks to the wonders of YouTube, we can show you what Monz did on his exciting and relaxing Hawaii adventure vicariously through the efforts of those who have done the same thing. Kowabonga, Monz did this!

And this!

And this!

And this!

And for his second day back lunch, Monz ate a Baji's Lentil Biryani 90 second meal. "Yum." Ah, the venerated, back where it belongs.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Ghost of Paul Harvey!

Monz is back! And back on track: at home for Dr. McDougalls (variety unknown) and half a grapefruit.

You may have seen the current McDonald's commercial with the Billy Big Mouth Bass knock-off singing "Give me back that Fillet of Fish, give me that fish!" as two dudes with blank expressions on their face chose to ignore the epiphany unfolding before them and chow down on their sandwich. What you may not have seen is the --complete -- commercial in which we find the fish is pleading for the life of its species!

"what if it were you hanging up on this wall?
If it were you in this sandwich
You wouldn't be laughing at all!"

McDonalds' realizing the depth of this depravity (especially that last milisecond where we see the yearning, pleading face of the fish), only airs the first half on tv. But now you know THE REST OF THE STORY!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Evil Comcast - In Monotone!
The yummy police are on the beat again, patroling the streets of corporate marketing to find offending uses of the venerated term. Today the perp is Comcast, whose evil, Kimya Dawson stealing (or FreeCreditReport.com - take your pick) monotone song from their new tv ads feels free to use the venerated at will no matter how unenthusiastic the actress sounds. And we do mean monotone -- check out that sheet music, or hear for yourself:

Thank goodness Monz will be getting a most non-monotone lunch at the spa today, his last day on the Hawaii small island. We will update with the details! [And yes, it's possible to sound enthusiastic in monotone -- Thespian Editor]

Monz does not let us down: Spa cuisine: summer rolls ("like Thai spring rolls") and that great cucumber-in-water water we've raved about in the past.

Friday, March 20, 2009

A Day Which Will Live In Glory!

Monz experiences an epiphanicly sublime moment conquering the waves, then is off to visit the wettest point on the planet. Such achievements require sacrifice: no lunch for Monz!

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Monz shreds the big waves of the small island! And heads back to the Docks Resturant for some pineapple slices and what sounded like (through the static filled lines of transoceanic telephony) a veggie panini.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Monz prepares for today's SURFIING LESSON with a surprisingly high-quality lunch from "The Dock" resturaunt. Shrimp cocktail -- no surprise that was yummy. Ditto the summer rolls. But hummus with freshly baked pita -- so fresh it was cooked while Monz was munching on the rolls? Makes us want to grab our baggies and fly out there. Hang five Monz!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Good Idea!

Can Monz be toomunificient? Consider: while in Hawaii, Monz calls the MYL offices late last night to report lunch. But hearing a note of weariness in the EIC's voice, Monz refused to disturb the staff's slumber, immediately disconnecting and leaving the report on the remote office voicemail. Tragically, however, the MYL staff attempted to re-establish contact with Monz and spent a lonely all-night vigil by the phone.

Lunch was a vegwich and sprite from Rosie's Diner at LAX, which sounded surprisingly good and unsurprisingly pricey.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Heartbreaker, Dreammaker, Love-Taker -- Don't You Mess Around With Swiffer!

The evil of Swiffer apparently knows no bounds, and is only exceeded by the evil of Monz having to endure a mediocre footlong veggie "delight" from Subway. At least we know how much he paid for it!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Ba-ba-bah ba-BAH-bah, ba-ba-bah BAH-ba!
As Monz approaches a much needed vacation, he feasts on Dr M's Pad Thai Soup, apple, Pamplemousse and some carrots.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Name It, Claim It!

Homemade veggie chili, apple and a grapefruit. A grapefruit which as a name! "La Pamplemousse"!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Beyond Cruel!

There's a tv ad for Swiffer (tm) that makes us wish bankruptcy on all who had a hand in it. While the Human League's "Don't You Want Me" plays in the background, a lonely old mop stands outside an electronic store window, watching a tv ad for the improved Swifter play. The mop is sobbing uncontrollably. As the ad ends, a car speeds by, hitting a puddle and splashing the mop.


Long live Monz and his loving, caring lunch: homemade vegetable chili, apple, banana and carrots.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Don't Be Cruel to a Lunch That Makes You Drool!

Dr McD's Tortilla soup, apple, clementines, banana, no carrots.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Cruelty and Kindness!

In these challenging times it's worth noting just how cruel, depravedly cruel, society can become. Consider this tale of heartlessness. A starving man is taunted with visions of succulent food and thirst-quenching drink, then told he will be denied unless he can contort his weary body to perform feats of entertaining skill. And this from an era of good times and rising incomes!

Had Monz been there he would have burst through the door and said "to blazes with your Fred Astaire, I will produce dance moves worthy of Madonna!" and proceed to do just that! Then provide a healthier lunch of Dr. McD's black bean soup and standard accompaniments (a little lighter on the carrots).

Friday, March 06, 2009

Oh My Darling!

They've run out of clementines! And bananas! Monz makes due with some of the good doctor's hot and sour soup, an apple and some carrots. Makes up for the lack of five servings with some salad at dinner.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Incredibly Good, Because He Eats on Wood!

As the editors head for their tri-yearly visit to Champaign-Urbana, we wish Monz could take a quick break from his dining habits and dine on some Lil Porgy's. That said, we're sure Monz would cede nuttin' to that footlong veggie delight on wheat!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

All Around the World I've Been Looking for McDou!
Monz' lunch quest is definitely not in a jam with the good doctor providing international fare like pad thai soup (with added apple, clementines & carrots).

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Missed Munificence!

We really wish we had taken the opportunity to avail ourselves to Monz' munificence. Had we done so, the Media Editor (ME) would have been the cameraman at a hot quasi-porn shooting in River North rather than watching Battlestar Galatica's final season in his apartment. We kid you not, but let ME's pain be a warning to you all that you ignore Monz at your own peril. And that includes his Dr. McDougal's split pea soup, apple, carrots, clems, but no bananas.

Monday, March 02, 2009

World's Are Coliding!

Fongs gets nervous as Monz makes a switcheroo to Dr McDougall's Vegan Hot Sour Soup (no switch with the apple, banana, clementines, and carrots).

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