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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Let It Bleed!

The EIC, who just happens to be the editor on duty today, was watching diner Stu's band play Lincoln Square Mayfest tonight when, on the way home, he tripped and fell face first into the sidewalk. He stumbled over the the CTA security guard at the el station. "oh!" he exclaimed. The EIC's nose was dripping blood and his head felt like it would explode, but no cabs were to be found. The EIC climbed up to the platform, waited for a train to bring him home, his face a Rocky Balboa mess. But even this (and a very late Monz lunch report) won't stop us from blogging Monz' spectacular onion-n-olive filled Greek Salad lunch from Bistro 17. Friendly staff, friendlier MOnz!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Oh! A Wiseguy!

Curly Howard would have nothing on the editors today after this exchange:

(Innocuous banter about John "Records" Landecker's "Boogie Check" on the WLS Rewind weekend)
Monz: "Yes. And Plato's for a turkey sub."
Editors: "What was on the turkey sub?"
Monz: "Turkey."
Monz: "And Ameriswiss cheese..."
Editors: (interrupting) "That's enough!"

The Editors wish to congratulate Mrs. Monz on leaving those lagging 'leading' lawyers and opening her new solo practice!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

First Courtney, Then Beyonce, Now Monz?!

With the exciting news about Monz strategizing an upcomming diet, periodically over the next couple weeks MYL will be providing some useful diet information. Until then, we suggest revisiting this post. At the time Courtney Love was promoting this diet but we've since heard that Beyonce has sung its praises. We know when we hear the words "Master" and "Clense," we immediately think of the Monz, even as Monz thinks of today's yummy at-home lunch of pasta and turkey meatballs.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Hookin' Me Up!

Monz filling in for the editors today.

No lunch yesterday...

Astute readers will remembers Plato's Corner's promise last week to really hook me up this week because of the paucity of beast in last week's 'wich. Today I went there to see if the their promise would be fulfilled. I like this place! They rememebered who I was and their promise! They gave an un-Subway(tm) amount of beast and, as a special treat, ameriswiss cheese! The lunch ordering experience was further enhanced by watching the skill the employees used to get rid of loitering teens out front! Way to go!

BTW, went to the Doc yesterday. Seriously need to lose major weight. Expect radical changes here soon. Eating nothing but chicken didn't work, so . . . deperate remedies!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Frantic Mantric Tantric!

One part Asia,
One part Europe,
One part Midwestern Plains!

Makes Monz thirsty
Needs to wash it down
With some guzzleble chemicals to the brain!

In other words, two tofurkey beer brats (soaked in real live brew!) on organic wheat buns. Plus an RC (not Diet RC, not Diet Rite, but Royal Crown, clown!)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Clark McDerment!

Hello, this is Clark McDerment, filling in for the editors who were suddenly called away for consulations at the Chicago Public Library. Monz rewarded Bistro 17's excellence with a return visit. Chicken noodle soup and Greek Salad.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Try to Keep Up!

Some people, after they've lived on Planet Earth for a spell, would be tired at the end of a long lawyer's workweek. Accordingly, they'd spend Saturday relaxing, taking it easy, doing chores, puttering around. They wouldn't:

Attend their stepdaughter's law school graduations,
Attend a festive post-graduation party,
Head to Chicago's famed Metro club for a late-night show staring SLOAN!
Party with the band after the gig!!

Come Monday, Monz was back in action, heading out to the Belvidere Discount Mall for the Jumbo Buffet (one of those Chinese buffets, with some American items thrown in) to discuss important legal matters with a legal colleague. Yummy enough, but was that the food...or the msg?

Friday, May 18, 2007

Right vs. Just Not Right!

So wrong!

So right!: Plato's Corner for a turkey sub, with too little turkey because of the freezy-jeebies, BUT a promise to "really hook the Monz up" with extra beast next time as compensation!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Charity Begins at Home!

At 8:49 PM Monz emailed the MYL offices a cryptic message -- it seems he shelled out big bucks at the Atwood Cafe in downtown Chicago, gave some chicken pot pies to the downtrodden, and went hungry. Or something like that -- our perceptions aren't great THIS CLOSE TO BEDTIME!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Pop Quiz!

Think you know the Monz? Think you know the Editors?Time to think again and take this quiz!

We did!
100%Ok, they say that our result wording must be 100 characters. T

Hi Monz!
--------------------------- ---------------------------- -------------- ---------------------------------------- --------------------- ------------

This Lahnd Is Monz Lahnd!
Make Your Own Quiz


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

By Monz' Command!

The following blurb by a local media writer has led to a special Monz blogging request for the Media Editor (ME).

>>It's going to be a Memorial Day to remember when WLS-AM (890) turns back the clock to its Top 40 heyday and brings back some of its greatest stars.
Kipper McGee, program director of the ABC-owned news/talk station, is assembling a dream team of WLS alums for what they're calling "The Big 89 Rewind."
From 5 a.m. to midnight May 28, regular programming will be pre-empted for a Memorial Day spectacular starring Superjock Larry Lujack, Fred Winston, John Records Landecker, Jeff Davis, Chris Shebel and Tom Kent. All were part of the '70s and '80s rock era at WLS. <<

John "Records" Landecker ("Records" really is his middle name, as he frequently reminded listeners) used to have a feature on his 6pm-10pm top 40 radio gig called the "Boogie Check." It started with a chorus of goons shouting "Boogie Check, Boogie Check, Ooh-Ah! Boogie Check, Boogie Check, Ooh-Ah!" (much like the start of "Hooked on a Feeling" with the "ooga-chacka-ooga-oogha!"). This was an invitation for listeners to call the station to give a brief shout-out and offer themselves up for Landecker's razor-sharp quips and be hung-up upon.

For months the ME attempted to get on the air, notwithstanding his quest was impaired by the fact that his family had not yet upgraded from dial-phones to touch-tone. Then it happened: one evening instead of the dreaded busy signal, the ME heard rings! Terror seized the ME's heart when he realized that having put all his effort into dialing, he had not thought of anything to say! Frantically he tried to think of something. Then, the other end of the phone picked-up. "Boogie Check!" JRL boomed into the 8-second delayed phone. The spotlight was on. "I want to say hello to everybody at [famous person] Junior High School in [suburbia] Illinoiz." Yes, the ME was worried about pronunciation and overpronounced his home state. "Say what?" JRL said? The ME repeated the shout-out. "Learn how to pronounce your state!" CLICK!

The next day the ME was teased mercilessly by the very students he had shouted-out to. It would be years later that the ME would embarass himself again on The Big 89, but that's another story.

And for Monz, it's another lunch, but not just another lunch! Three very small, barbequed chicken breasts. And an apple!

Monday, May 14, 2007

I Love a Long Goodbye!

Whew! Last entry for this underwhelming round of guest-blogging. Today Mrs. Monz and I went back Bacci's for a soup of the day and caesar salad (no beast). Everything at this place is yummy! And we're starting to see lots of the same people there repeatedly.

Before I go, I did receive this email from a reader, and I would like to help them out. Please bear with me:

"Dear Monz:I need some dating advice and figured you were the just the person to help me out. On May 16th, and again on June 20th, there is a speed dating event for Jewish singles. What happens in speed dating? What should I say? What's a good opening line? Does it make a difference that there is a disconnect between the ages: the women will be 30-40 and the men 35-45. That means half of the men (approximately) will be older than all of the women. P.S. I hate lunch. Slow Lane. "

Dear Slow Lane:

What do you mean you hate lunch? What is your major malfunction? You'll never be a Romeo without a regular and well-balanced lunch! Were you raised by wolves? Geez! Don't go to these events, or write me again, until you start enjoying your lunch. BTW, the best opening line I know is, "What did you have for lunch?"

See you later!

Friday, May 11, 2007


Over to the CSC for two hot dogs (no O's!).

Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Republic!

Over to Plato's Corner for two hot dogs (no O's!) and a small chili.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Who Will Rise Up!

The editors, apparently dismayed beyond belief at reading my guest-blogging, have taken to providing more suitable material. I give up. So, to keep everyone happy, here is today's blog-entry:

Hey! Have you heard about the political [scandal / situation / persona] in [insert country here]? I am upset after reading [insert horrible behavior of foreign government here]! Oh, By the way, Monz had a chicken wrap from Bistro 17, along with some cole slaw.

Hopefully the culture shock ends here!


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

No Pleasin' 'Em!

Wow! The complaints poured in all yesterday, into this morning. You made your voices heard. Yesterday's before and after was a resounding disappointment! Complaints included the observation that yesterday's photos were "sterile," "alienating," and "not yummy!" I will fix that today: for lunch I had a "Signature" prepared Caesar salad with roasted chicken from Dominick's. It was pretty good. Here's what it looked like fresh out of the box:

Here it is after I was done with it:

Hopefully today's photo's do a better job of conveying the lunch experience and the yumminess of the salad. Address complaints to the editors!

Monday, May 07, 2007

You Suck!

Well, the editorial staff phoned in over the weekend to tell me what they thought of last week's guest-blogging . . . in no uncertain terms! So, in order to fix things and spice them up around here, I present the return of an old favorite!

Today's lunch was a bare chicken breast prepared on the barbeque and an apple. I give you . . . Before:

and After!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Life's a Song!

And still we're gonna put a low-key and to a low-key week. Catching up on office stuff (and other cases) today after a week devoted to one case in court. For lunch I had a barbequed chicken breast, no bread, no sauce, no marinade, no rubs, no basting, no salt, no pepper, no spices, no broasting, no spit-roasting, no tandoori, no additives, no microwaving or rewarming of any kind, just plain, and an apple. The only exception to this MYL food purity rule is that calamari must have lemon squeezed on it: No Exceptions!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Critical Back-up!

Oh boy! What a busy week and what an inauspicious start to my blogging break! Yesterday we went with opposing counsel to Bacci's for a delicious steaming plate of angel hair pomodoro. Today, back to court and . . . NO LUNCH! Though I did eat a raising cookie this afternoon. Back to normal tomorrow, I believe. I'll even try and do some blogging magic to make it all worthwhile.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Order! Order!

Monz here, starting my annual blogging so the editors can have a vacation. Today I was on trial, but we wound up settling. I brough lunch from home because I knoew I'd be busy. I had a barbequed chicken breast, no berad or sauce, just a plain barbequed chicken breast, and an apple. After court, I was starving so I bought a cinnamon bun from some Greek ladies selling stuff in the courthouse lobby. Tired. A tired start to my blog-patrol!

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