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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Put the Meat on the Heat!

To celebrate another bbq chicken lunch (with honeycrisp apple and string cheese), we interviewed the Monz to get some bbq advice.

MYL: What kind of grill do you use?

Monz: Ducane

MYL: Do you like it?

Monz: Yes! It's brand new and it works -- what's not to like?

MYL: Do you use charcoals, and if so, what kind?

Monz: No, it's gas. Don't fall into the marketers' web of lies and deceit! You don't need coals. You don't need to marinate the meat, baste the meat, or put seasoning on the meat. Just put the meat on the heat, wait a beat, flip the beast, then eat the heated meat!


Wednesday, November 29, 2006

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Monz expands horizons and transcends time by experimenting with Chinese Food Wednesday! Chow Chicken Kow from Ming Toy, chicken egg roll (fortune cookie yet to be opened). This was no quick jaunt to chow down on some chow: Monz hunted across northern Lake County for nearly an hour trying to find a mystical Thai place before an emerging tsunami forced him to head back to Waukegan and settle for something just as Eastern but not as Southern.

We always knew Monz was munificient, so this came as no surprise:

Your Elf Name Is...

Furry Stocking Stuffer

What's Your Elf Name?

Monz has demanded that this special extra quiz be added!

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common.

You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.

However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Monz is Not a Val!
The MYL archivist was going through some old videotapes when he came across the final episode of "Secrets of Magic Revealed" (#4 if you were counting), the controversial Fox series featuring a masked magician who let watchers in on the secrets of magic. Needless to say, this incurred the wrath of his fellow magicians. In the final episode the masked magician unmasked himself, letting the world know his secret identity: (Val) Valentino. Now, the archivist had figured Valentino as a shameless, sell-out opportunist for revealing all these secrets, but Val set him (and the rest of the world) right. He did it to save magic, not destroy it! Magic had become boring. Nobody talked about it. Same old, same old. The day after special #1 people across the nation were talking at the water cooler about the show - magic was back, especially for (in an eerie echoing of monzspeak) the chiiiiillllllldrehhhhhn!. Magicians began coming up with new and better illusion. But more importantly, magic isn't about the trick - no, that's just a small part of it. Magic is about the performance.

In many ways Valentino is like Monz. Monz has revived lunch. Monz shares the secrets of lunch. Monz knows that it's not just about the food, but the entire lunch experience. And Monz decided to change pace today and have some pizza from the CSC (one slice sausage, one slice cheese) and a diet coke. Pizza is Italian, just like Valentino. And as Monz has received some grief for his lunch campaign, so did Val for his magic campaign: as he was banished from television and shunned by magicians nationwide. Desperate, Val went to Brazil, only to wind up in legal entanglements for failure to have a magician's license. Undaunted, he securred his license and went on to become a massive success in Brazil, which is more than Suede or Placebo can say!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Like a Champagne Supernova in the Sky!

Monz gets back on the horse, or should we say chicken?! BBQ! chicken on wholegrain bread, and yes, it's showing results.

Readers may recall that the Music Editor (ME) championed Lukas Rossi for the winner/lead singer of the new rock supergroup Rock Star Supernova (originally just "Supernova" until a trademark suit forced the additional moniker - that's not the only bad luck the "band" has had: the ex-Metalica dude bassist broke his shoulder and is effectively out of the group, unless there's a second album -- place your bets!). So it was with some trepidation that the ME listened to the newly released disk. Hmm. The first half is something the Monz might quite like. The second half is the kind of thing Monz would mock the ME with in college (were it presented to him) and chuck out the window (if it were given to him)!

But that's just our opinion -- we know that everybody gets passionate about Rock Star!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

To Lunchinity, and Beyond!

Monz double repeats yesterday's bbq lunch. "Double repeats?" you ask? Yes, as it is band practice night, an extra helping was brought for dinner!

Following up on a MYL poll, here's another reason Monz should take a road trip to Kah-nah-dah. Lipton's instant creamy thai chicken soup. Not that it's all that good (it's ok), but check out the friendliness of those instructions. If the editors were an instant soup package, we'd be like that. Moreover, it is consistent with a point Monz frequently makes to the editors when we insist on our deadline for going to press: "lunch is timeless!"

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

You Dirty Rat!

While the editors were taking their refreshing mid afternoon siesta, the malcontented rat Scuz (from from Microsoft Bobtook over Monzyummylunch with some hit-and-run comments. Shoo, Scuz, Shoo!

I love that Pepto Bismal radio ad, which makes fun of Mariah Carey with a dead-on target impersonation of an over-emoting diva. I hate each and every one of those Ford "Bold Moves" ads. The one that celebrates divorces (sorry Mark Monz!), the one that has the power businesswoman making a cheap pass at a poor working joe who only wants to drop off his dry cleaning. I love those "they miss you" ads where Abe Lincoln is your pal, even though the irascible woodchuck makes no sense. Do you know anybody who has ever dreamed of a woodchuck? But I see those posters where Abe and Chuck look so lonely -- it makes me want to gobble down some of those pills and go to sleep just to make them happy. Monz is happy with his lunch of barbequed chicken on wholegrain bread -- nothing else on it (and a honeycrisp apple/jello thingies). I'm glad someone is!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Monz Smakelijke Maaltijd!

Saturday night the editors attended a Belgian Beer tasting event, in which each guest was to bring copious quantities of dutch brew and then rank the various offerings in a blind taste-test. (There was also Belgian beef stew, belgian cheese, and french fries with mayonaise for dunking, purportedly the way they eat them). The EIC brought the winning beer: Pere Jac, a local (Chicago) brew. Delirium Tremens was a close runner-up. But the really memorable beers were the Grand Cru Rodenblach, which tasted like vinegar. We know that sounds awful, but it was kinda compelling. Then there was a peach lambic, which reminds the EIC of the first time he went bar hopping with Monz, when visiting Monz at college. As the EIC's hazy memory recalls, he deferred to the waitress' drink suggestion, which was a fuzzy navel. However, in the EIC's inebriated state, he heard "fuzzy navel" as "fin-ay-gle hay-gle" and confused future waitresses for years to come.

Monz' lunch will confuse you if you don't read carefully: Monz takes a half-loaf of French bread (not French style bread, but bread from France), adds horseymustard, lowfat swiss cheese and turkey for a Eurowich, adding an apple and jello thingies. Bon appetite!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

One More Cup Of Coffee Before I Go!

Monz here for a quick weekend entry. Travelled out to Wheaton to investigate the robbery of a coffee house here -- one that allegedly occurred many years ago, in the 90's. We stopped off for a yummy lunch at Suzette Creperie in downtown Wheaton. I had the pumpkin soup, mixed green salad, and the mushroom and carmelized onion crepe. It was a very fancy place, and very yummy. I am still looking for the coffee house . . .

Friday, November 17, 2006

Let Us Take You to That Wonderland That Only Two Can Share!

Monz has had a hard week at the awfeece, so he took off early for home...to get an early start celebrating his wedding anniversery. Happy Anniversery Monz and Mrs. Monz! Lunch was rumoured to be a morning barbequed chicken, with apple and sugar free jello things. This blog entry was rumoured to be a poll of which of the last four Literary Editor (LE) book club selections should Monz read, but none of them bowled us over. Since Monz has had his picture taken with Mayor Daley and "his" last pick for "one-book" Chicago was one of the club's picks (Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies), we'll go with that. Though it's hard to imagine a book having less of a Chicago connection -- that's our mayor for you!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Monz = Action, Part Two!

The following transcript was obtained through a freedom of information act request. The parties identified as "T-Bone" and "Ronnie" are believed to be mid-level figures in a vast international criminal conspiracy.

T-Bone: "So?"
Ronnie: "They failed."
T-Bone: "I can see that -- I'm watching the footage now."
Ronnie: "It's hard to get quality help these days. Apparently Monz managed to ditch them within 10 minutes. They took their advance money, got high, and went after those choadas."
T-Bone: "And Monz?"
Ronnie: "Well...we hear this did inconvenience his morning a bit, so he couldn't cook his chicken lunch. Instead he'll probably have to go to The Place."
T-Bone: "[garbled]. So what the [garbled] do I say to the Chinese? I promised them the results they couldn't deliver. They're going to be pissed!"
Ronnie: "At least Monz isn't mocking you with...wait, what's that noise?"
Unknown Source: "Ah ha-ha!"

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Monz = Action, Part One!

Our crack investigating team learned this morning that Monz, the innocent bystander, had become immeshed in a tale of international intrigue. By 4:00 PM Central Standard Time we had not heard from Monz. Is he safe? Is he hungry? These and other questions will be learned tomorrow -- same Monztime, same Monzblog.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Playing the Weighting Game!

As there is no progress to report, Monz does some early morning bird-b-quing. Which, in a way, is progress in and of itself. (No condiments, wholegrain bread).

Meanwhile, the editors are off working on their library assignements (yes, plural). Once they graduate, they'll have a different weight-loss plan:

Monday, November 13, 2006

Clothes Make the Man!

Kind of a blase weekend, as Monz' highlight was trying the eliptical machine at the club ("interesting!") and the editors didn't do much of anything...except the EIC, needing a fancy new suit, went with his dad to Brooks Brothers, which was in the midst of a big sale. Sensing someone who knew the Monz, the salesman tried to get the EIC to buy one of their Golden Fleece(tm) suits. EIC's dad asked the price. Hem. Haw. Fifteen hundred. "Nice try." But EIC's dad was very happy that his longtime friend and tailor was still working there.

Monz can atire nattily when he needs to, but today he's biz casual, dining on more leftover bbq chicken from last week (whole grain bread, no hummus).

Friday, November 10, 2006

Monz Is in the Band!

What’s this I hear that’s going all around town
People are saying that you put the lunch down

Oh no – look at what you did
You can call it what you want
I call it messing with the lunch

Anything you want – why don’t you just shake
The Monz is going to buy it as soon as he gets paid
Until then it's yesterday's leftovers
Even the hummus is gone
A lunch that isn't chicken would be
bad and wrong

Resturants charge for lunch as if money was a gift
Monz works for that money on a billable hour shift
He's driving his new car all around the town
Gonna hit the gym and smack some weights around
The weekend beckons, what it will bring is something Monz don't know
We asked if he'll see Borat, he said "no way I'm going to that show"

His fans want him to eat healthy
The result of another poll
Monz will do his best
And skip that jelly roll
So pop another jello thingy and throw away the lid
Until you've lived life lunch-centric, you're messing with the kid.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

There's Always Time for a Diet!

But opportunities to dine with fellow counselors should not be passed up. Hence, Monz put the bbq chicken kaiser roll feast away and headed out with S. Esq. to Madison Avenue for chicken ceasar salad, bread and manly tap water. An attempt to proffer an invitation to Monz' stepkid was made, but nobody answered the phone. Maybe next time!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Fowl Weather Friends!

Monz has a long, abiding friendship with...chicken! Longtime readers will remember Monz took on the Bad Colonel and his minions at Kentucky Fried Chicken, freeing the disadvantaged birds to live idyllicly in a field somewhere. But years before, in the early days of the internet, Monz and another bird species combined to pull a prank so daring, so brilliant, so infuriating to those unpure of heart that it incurred death threats from the wicked and gleeful thanks from the pure of heart ("he's not kidding, we have the e-mails to prove it" - History Editor).

Well, it's payback time! Monz embarks on a chicken diet! Home-barbequed chicken breast sandwich on a kaiser roll, with red pepper hummus spread. This dish may be dinner! It may be tomorrow's lunch! It may be the featured meal on ABC's new dejavu-ey series Day Break. Those chickens are going down until the weight goes down, and their glad to do it!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Get Out & Vote!

Monz again. Well, it's election day here at MYL and all over the US, so I hope you've had a chance to vote, and that you took that chance, and actually voted! Today I had a taste for one of the delights offered at the CSC. However, the courthouse is closed! I knew court was not in session, but I didn't know they closed the whole courthouse! I was left with but one lonely option: a footlong turkey on Hearty Italian with lots of peppers from Subway. I'm getting tired of Subway, especially the chinciness of their beast. Oh well. It was OK but I have to start another journey around the area for lunch spots.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mi Amore, Pasta!

Props go out to Mrs. Monz today who provided today's lunch. Last night she slaved over a hot stove to make a pasta/turkey meatball/carrot/pepper yummy conglomeration topped off with the spicest tomato sauce I've ever eaten. It was so yummy it HAD to be today's lunch also. The fact that I could keep it down while watching the Amazing Race people vomit up cow-lips testifies to it's greatness. This is capped off with some hummus & crackers, an apple and jell-o.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Friendly Skies = Friendly Lunch!

Airlines like United (both the real one and the fake budget "Ted") don't serve meals any more. Heck, if the flight is under 3 hours, they don't serve you anything -- they just give you a soft drink and a teeny-tiny bag of pretzles. But if you are on one of those long flights, they'll sell you a box lunch for five bucks. Food for a fin! With that in mind, take a look at these yummy offerings and see if you can help the Monz out for his next big flight (right after that road trip to Canada!)

What United Box Would Make a Good Lunch for Monz?
Jump Start -- "start (or restart!) your day here!"
Mini Meal -- "a small meal to refuel you"
Quick Pick -- "comfort food a go-go, great to share...or keep for yourself!"
Right Bite -- "all natural, high energy, all delicious"
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Friday, November 03, 2006

Surprise Mark Monz!

The bare essentials: a pork roast stuffed with seasoned veggies from Whole Foods, cooked (not heated) by Monz and Mrs. Monz, with an apple, grapes, jello. The editors travel to the nation's capital for a pre-election day investigation, so Monz, you'll have to blog Monday. Surprise!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Hey Now, You're a Rock Star!

Sometimes Monz is so brilliant, he transcends lunch. Like, take those Nissan Sentra commercials -- "A Film By Mark Horowitz" where young laddy Mark Horor claims that he is documenting his attempt to live out of his new Nissan Sentra for a week. Now, we're not so naive to think this idea war organic: we figured they paid this dude to do this for use in a commercial. Then we saw commercial #2, where Mark is arguing to a gas station cashiere that he deserves a free car wash even though he didn't spend much in gas. The gas station is PLASTERED IN ADS FOR ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINK. THERE ARE NO OTHER TRADEMARKS/LOGOS VISIBLE. THERE'S EVEN A ROCKSTAR LOGO ON THE BATHROOM DOOR! Obviously this is a commercial tie-in precluding any possibility of a shred of spontanaity in this ad.

"Dude, I knew it was fake from the first five seconds."

Grr. Turkey something or other.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Cure for the Common Lunch!

Monz is in a lunch doldrums today. How do we know? In his lunch report, he put the condiments and bread type ahead of the sandwich meat! And this from a Monzmade sandwich that also featured an oh so fresh, oh so en vogue, oh so crispy (if not O'So Krispie) honeycrisp apple!

What would cure this lunch doldrums? For Monz, something munificient. And nothing is more munificient on this blog than a tv commercial expose -- yes, we have another one: stay tuned (and don't forget to vote in this week's poll -- see Monday's entry).

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