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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

His Honor Blows Smoke!

Today Monz is wrapping a Smart Menu Orange Sesame Chick'n. Other notable appearances include a fresh from Florida grapefruit and the veggie that gives the thighs hives.

Recently the political editors' hometown has taken up a no smoking ordinance, reportedly the strictest in its state. It bans smoking in bars, resturants, outside buildings, pretty much anywhere. Now if there's one thing that gets under his skin (beyond genocide and our lack of energy policy), it's the nanny state. So he wrote the village trustees and mayor. One trustee gave a fairly direct and respectful response. The mayor, on the other hand... Because Monz enjoys a good joust, we reprint the exchange here:

>>PE: Hello, I'm writing to argue against the proposed anti-smoking ordinance and to inquire on where you all stand on the issue. Let me preface this by saying I am not a smoker and I don't particularly enjoy being around cigarette smoke. But I think this ordinance goes beyond what is needed to protect the public health, or even to address a public annoyance. Believe me, I'm no libertarian, but I believe the government should not limit individual freedoms without a compelling reason to do so.

The big problem is that the ordiance overreaches on the public health danger: it conflates those proven dangers of certain secondhand smoke situations with any and all exposure to secondhand smoke, regardless of what levels of carcinogens or what time period of exposure. For example, many bars use modern air cleaning technologies which drastically reduce smoke particles. Is there evidence that this isn't a satisfactory alternative? Does the ocassional passing by a smoker or two in the open air pose a statistical health threat? More than the exhaust we inhale if we walk down [xxxxxx] or [xxxxxx] roads? We all face a far greater danger from drunk drivers, but we wouldn't even consider banning alchohol sales. It seems the smoking vice is being picked on beyond the danger to others that it presents.

As to indoor smoking, even if we assume air cleaners are not effective, is it right to "protect" the health of adults who choose to assume the risk? I don't see the justification for customers of resturaunts and bars. Protecting workers is a better argument, but the job market today is very different than decades ago (when people seemed to smoke everywhere). It's difficult to argue that most of the workers we're concerned with wouldn't have similar smoke-free oportunities elsewhere. I'd understand a minimum age requirement for working at a place that allows smoking and a rule saying once a place becomes smoke-free it stays smoke-free (to proect more established nonsmoking workers). A final thought: the average expectancy of professional football players is less than 60 years. If I tried to force XXXXXXX High School to pass out flyers at XXXXX Field to discourage (let alone ban) football players I'd be run out of town! (And for the record, no, I'm not advocating that -- I'm old enough to remember when XX was the top tier :-) )<<

His Honor replied:

>>Dear PE and XXXXX : I have taken the liberty of addressing both of you within the same correspondence in connection with the above captioned matter. Although you may not know each other, both of you wrote to our board with somewhat similar objections to the proposed smoking ordinance. Thank you both for writing. I speak for the entire board when I say we appreciate your input and passion for the issues we must consider. Personally, I do not find the arguments raised by either of you compelling. Certainly not enough to modify my position on the ordinance. That fact that I do not agree with the conclusions reached by either of you does not mean that I have failed to understand your position nor do I suggest the arguments you raise are without merit. Frankly, it is my strong belief that in the not too distant future we will all look back on this debate with bewilderment ; no differently than I explain to my children that there once was a time people could smoke on airplanes. I understand quite clearly the balance our board must make on so very many decisions before us. We often struggle with the rights of individuals vis-à-vis the good of the community. One needs to look no further than the passage of our recent tree ordinance or the bulk restrictions placed on residential home development. The arguments each of you levied against the smoking ordinance could be applied equally to those actions. In my opinion those issues may have required more debate because, among other reasons , neither concerned the health of our residents. The ordinance before us however , does. Perhaps because I find no redeeming value in smoking and the very action we are interested in curtailing causes harm to others without consent , I find the balance lopsided in favor of regulation. Finally, I am as proud of XXXXXX as each of you are. I believe we will be the envy of the north shore, if not the state , when this ordinance passes and becomes the standard by which all other communities fashion their regulations against smoking. Please feel free to join us on XXXXXXXXX for the discussion. <<

ooooh, PE got angry, PE got mad:

>>Dear Mayor XXXX:

I hope the others don't mind that I have cluttered their e-mail boxes with this reply. [The Mayor had CC'd his response to the other trustees - PE] I don't mean to continue this ad nauseum, but there's several things in your response that I need to address.

You write that you respected the issues that were raised, then effectively say the opposite (that in the near future our arguments will be met with "bewilderment" of the type that will amaze children with their absurdity). You write that you understood the substance of what we wrote, but I don't see that reflected in your response. My e-mail didn't challenge the legitimacy of "curtailing causes to harm to others without consent" -- indeed, I explicitly acknowledged it. My e-mail challenged that presumption with respect to the broad scope of this proposal: there is consent for indoor bar/resturant secondhand smoke and that I don't know of scientific studies showing "harm to others" from incidental outdoor exposure. (I also raised the possibility of air cleaners and was pleased that Ms. XXXXX wrote to directly address that). Incidentally, I supported the "tear down" ordinance because that -does- have an impact on others, both aesthetically and economically.

Finally, let me add this: if harm to nonconsenting residents is the motivation here, why is secondhand smoke being addressed before and/or independent of driving while using a cell phone? Legions of studies show the latter is as dangerous as drunk driving, residents are far more likely to encounter it than secondhand smoke, the health dangers from "exposure" are greater, and there is no question of consent. A victim of such an accident would be belwildered by the councils actions on one and inaction on the other. I think the explanation is that smokers numbers have dwindled and smoking is considered so distasteful by most that they make an easier target -- that's precisely why I took the time, as a nonsmoker, to write. <<

ooooh, his honor got angry, his honor got mad:

>> I will conclude our email interaction on this issue with this response. I am more than pleased to continue this dialog in person at our xxxxxx meetings. Unfortunately , I did not receive a copy of Trustee XXXXX's response to you and therefore cannot comment. She has publicly expressed an opinion as to one aspect of the proposed ordinance . It concerned the proposed restrictions near entrances of private business locations. I do not agree with her suggestion to reduce the restriction. With respect to empirical data reflecting the danger of second hand smoke , I am completely comfortable with the testimony provided by the medical professionals who appeared before our board. Moreover, I am not persuaded by any distinction between this danger forced on our residents whether it is within an enclosed space or in a playground. Neither can be good. Finally, perhaps the board will take your suggestion ( and follow the lead of Chicago ) to study the ill effects of driving while talking on a cell phone. That fact that you have identified another area of potential regulation does not minimize the critical importance of addressing second hand smoke. Admittedly , there are a number of health issues which our board can tackle. Please do not criticize us because we have the courage to act upon at least one of them. Rather, encourage our efforts because we have the best interests of our residents in mind , despite the fact that it may not be popular with a few of our neighbors. <<

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Passion of the Monz!

The editors were up very early this morning, even by their standards, so they took the opportunity to catch up on a lost love: cable tv infomercials. First up it's our beloved Matthew Lesko, doing skit routines to promote a follow-up to his book "Free Money to Change Your Life" (this one also about free government money to change your life, but more business oriented). And dangit does he aim an arrow at our hearts by showing pictures of his family and how they scammed, er, took advantage of government opportunities for home businesses. Next is Don Lapre, the man who gave the EIC an inferiority complex, not because he was rich, not because he was excited, but because he illustrated his rags-to-excited-riches story by telling us the sob story of his no-college/one bedroom apartment days (when the EIC had plenty of college and lived in a studio/convertable). Friends, did you know the EIC and the Monz once had plans to place thousands of classified ads? We don't recall for what product, but those ads were going to be sassy, let us tell you! Anyway, Don is now hawking the greatest vitamins in the world!. (Ok, probably not, but the health editor does endorse food-based vitamins over most of the ones you find at the drugstore). After that it's several Kevin Trudeau wannabes touting things like seaweed extract as the cure for whatever ails you. Alas we could not find the original infomercialman who taught us to live with passion!

Now some say that passion is the enemy of intelligence. Not Monz! He's quite passionate about today's smart choice Tex-Mex wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla, an orange, and a combative choice of vegatable beloved by kwayzee wabbits everywhere.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Buffalo Chicken, Meet Buffalo Bob!

In a profound sense, Monz is like a shining hybrid of a cultural district attorney and a wise judge: he roots out the important failings and challenges of our times and then guides selected members of the public to make their own decisions. In that spirit, the editors offer two examples ripped from the headlines. First, you may have heard that Madonna was found guilty of stealing some Belgium dude's song for her hit single "Frozen", or at least by a Belgian judge. But did you ever hear the songs side by side? Of course not, because the Belgians, when they aren't too busy aiding Hutu genociders, don't believe you can handle the truth. Well, Monz does, so listen and decide for yourself. Also, the political editor fears a recent skirmish on the floor of the House of Representatives might go unnoticed. During a debate over a GOP budget proposal Representative Marion Barry (D-Arkansas, not the coke-sniffing former mayor of Washington D.C.) called Representative Adam Putnam (R-FL) a "Howdy Doody-looking Nimrod." Now those who know Monz know that he takes Howdy Doody and Nimrod very seriously, so such charges should be carefully scrutinized!

And did we mention such scrutiny is best done chomping on some Monday Monz-style barbeque: soy-faux-barbeque-tofu wrapped ina tasty tortilla, with a bag of carrots and cottage cheese and an orange, flown in fresh from FL?

Friday, November 25, 2005

No Leftovers!
Today, because the editors are off holidaying, I (Monz) am stepping in to blog my own holiday lunch. Yesterday I had a liver sausage on rye open-faced sandwich. It was very yummy. Then we went to relatives' home for Thanksgiving and you know what that means: no leftovers! So today my wife made lunch. We had curry mango pork tenderloin wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla. It was an exciting tropical twist and very yummy! I capped this off with a navel orange flown fresh in from Florida today.

I would like to take an opportunity to encourage readers to enter the editors' contest (Please be advised that this contest is not offered under the auspices of Monz and Monz is not responsible for it in any way for this contest and Monz will not be responsible for any prizes awarded or not awarded or just plain offered!). Yummy lunch ideas are always encouraged and I still enjoy last years' picked entry! So use your imaginations and come up with some suggestions!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Big Bucks, No Whammies, Courtesy of Monzyummylunch!

Announcing the second annual Monzyummylunch "Yummify the Monz' Lunch" contest!!! To play, submit via the e-mail link on the blog (not the comments section) a suggestion for a yummy Monz lunch. Entries will be judged on ease of preparation and/or ordering/retrieving, uniqueness, and of course yumminess! Each entry gets a chance to win $10,000.00!!! (shout out to Andy of season 2 of The Apprentice for the idea). The winner gets a gift certificate to a resturant that Monz has eaten at!!! Here are the lahyaheese rules: one entry per e-mail address (so make it count and please don't cheat by sending different entries with different e-mail addresses!), all decisions of the editors final, void where prohibited, limit of 25 entries total (first come, first played), all entries must be received by December 31, 2005, no Wisconsin residents because they have barred out of state residents from entering their state's short story contest, no Alabama residents because the editors think that outside of Birmingham, the free state of Winston County, and a few other places Alabama ain't no sweet home but rather it sucks, contestants will be assigned heads or tails by editors depending on their mood then a coin will be tossed a lucky thirteen times and if the coin turns up the same pre-picked side each time the contestant will receive $10,000 (U.S.) in equal installments over a period of sixty years, however the award will not be paid if the submitted lunch makes Monz sick except in the case where lunch is purchased from a commercial food establishment or preparer in which case the entrant is off the hook unless he or she is in cahoots with said establishment or preparer, employees/friends/family/other relations to either the eidtors or the Monz or his place of work are allowed and encouraged to enter this contest. A note on the photo -- we took this from a Press Your Luck fan site which we would normally attribute except for the snarky note about screenshots, as-if he were the illustrator and not some dude with a print-key button and Microsoft Paint. Dude, you're out of the contest too!

Today Monz is feeling even better than yesterday thanks to the healing power of liver sausage, which he dittolunched. Staying home from work didn't hurt either to wait for the leather cleaners didn't hurt either!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Lunch "THEY" Don't Want You to Know About!

First, tomorrow is the big day -- if you read only one MYL post this year 1) what are you thinking?! and 2) make it tomorrow's! Well, that would mean you read two MYL post, but...

You won't find this from doing a Google search. You won't find this in any Kevin Trudeau quackery. But Munificent Monz will never let you down: liver sausage has amazing healing properties. Monz has a liver sausage sandwich on rye bread, after letting it work its magic for dinner yesterday night. And if that wasn't enough, it was yummy then and it will be yummy today!

(The editors yesterday tried to make a salmon dip, using light cream cheese, smoked salmon [purchased in foil packs], chives, lemon juice and a splash of milk. It was ok but didn't seem to add up to more than its parts. Then we learned you should let such dips sit overnight so to allow the flavors to blend, kinda like that Derby Pie. Of course, our first thought was "we should have asked Monz!")

Monday, November 21, 2005

My Name Is Monz!

Apparently through with choking on the editors' chicken, the Monz zests into the new week like a hillhocker character in a new NBC hit comedy series, in a big hurry to make an early Monday morning appointment. No lunch had been made, and with his new blog-comment inspired health consciousness, he grabs the healthiest ingredients he could find: tortilla, ham, chicken, horseradish sauce, and throws it into a classic wrap. Throw in an apple, cottage cheese and yogurt. And what does he get? A cancelled-appointment slap in the face! This makes Monz sing a lament so poetic we can't reprint it here and rob Monz of publishing income should he ever publish it. Suffice to say a liver sausage on rye sandwich was involved.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Hit the Bricks!

Ever since the Monz introduced us to Brother "The truth doesn't hurt, it's the lie that hurts, though I will admit the truth sometimes has a bit of a sting to it" Jed, the editors live by a creed of bracing honesty. Thus we have to tell you that today was one of those rare ocassions where our lunch outdid the Monz. Monz takes an enjoyable if not thrilling trip to Kong's for ma po tofu and a small hot and sour soup. Meanwhile, the editors trek to the far west border of Chicago and visit the Brickyards shopping center to see if the highly touted as the best damn fast food chicken in the Latino world lives up to its billing. It does, more or less! Crunchy, tender, juicy, unusual and yummy sides, festive music, and unlike upon it's opening we didn't have to wait for hours to get in! And they have a drive-through! We expect our number of low-rider sightings to sharply increase come next summer. Monz, you already like (or are) Mexican food, we think you should go there!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Mahat or Not?!

The political editor puts the Monz to the test to see where he lies on the political spectrum. Hmmm -- economically he's 3.88 to the left and libertarian/authoritarian he's 2.10 to the left (libertarian). Of all the famous figures listed, the Monz comes closest to...Ghandi! This is the opposite quadrant of the graph from Dubya. The P.I. ended up in the same quadrant but with wussier numbers.

Today is Monz' anniversery, and he celebrates with a lunch of Monz-traditional cold cuts (i.e., includes buffalo chicken) and wraps them up in a wheat tortilla with horseradish sauce and sharp cheddar. The sides included carrots and celery, an apple and some cottage cheese for a true delight. But Ghandi's favorite vegatable was nowhere to be found!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

This Land Is Your Land!

As many readers know, the editors enjoy collecting tiny pacels of land (deeds are mandatory). They even take long road trips to visit their holdings. But knowing the Monz, he'd want you to be able to own land in any state you wish, absolutely free!! So here is Monz' early Christmas present to you. And on the way to visit your land, why not stop by the County Cafe for a ranch chicken salad sandwich and yogurt? Yum.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

An Ironic Cliche!

Monz checks out the LCBA family law committee meeting. The legal editor was thinking of re-joining the LCBA until he looked at their web site and saw little use for his kind. Anyway, afterwards Monz went to the County Cafe for a chicken caesar panini and a yogurt and while not thrilled with the panini, no complaints. This is ironic because the editors had recently recommended the paninis at this place to a sublessor at the myl offices and was informed that it lived up to its billing.

But dedicated readers must realize that, despite the recent excitement over the wraps, after the initial Waukegan flush of excitement, Monz' lunch plans need a little something extra. Thankfully, we're nearing that time again!

Monday, November 14, 2005

The Original Wrapper!

Today's Monz lunch report is very interesting, so we put it first, then advise that you might just want to skip what follows.

Today monz raps about the other white meat as he wraps PORK tenderloin in a whole wheat tortilla with sharp cheddar and barbeque sauce for a taste sensation! He then adds an apple and some carrots sticks AS WELL AS some celery for crunchy fruit & vegetable balance. Monz finishes off this earth-shaking lunch with a Breakstones cottage double BUT NOT THE PINEAPPLE ONE!!!!! NO!!!!! Monz has STRAWBERRY today!!!! Yay!!!!!!

Thank you, um, editors! Now, every so often we promise some space to our intrepid political editor who is known to write long posts. Today is one of those times.

>>This weekend I received an e-mail to attend a Hillary Clinton for Senate fundraiser. I'm not sure how this arrived at my address, as it is one I rarely use for political stuff. When I did some googling of the organizer, I discovered she worked for IVF-IPO, a left-leaning political group (the "I" stands for "Independent" but the only time they've endorsed a Republican is when a pro-life Dem was running). I once had a friendly debate with an IVF-IPO'er on that site over their endorsement in the Democratic primary for attorney general (the 30 year old toady daughter of the Dem state house leader over a longtime maverick reformer they had endorsed in two previous elections -- sellout!), and I guess she added me to her personal mailing list.

She even has her own Web site Looking at it both gladdened and saddened me. Glad because I like seeing the young-uns get involved in politics. Sad because, while I can't peer into her heart, in my encounters with people at this level of party politics, they are as much into it for personal power than ideology. Debra Dickerson in her amazing memoir has a great description of 1992 Clinton/Gore campaign staff who spent the last week of the election positioning themselves for the best available jobs in the new administration. Of course, maybe Hillary really does need more in her campaign coffers for that fierce senate race, but I'm dubious...

Friday, November 11, 2005

This Won't Mean Nuttin' To You!

If you're not a lifelong Chicago radio/tv listener/watcher or national sportstalk radio fan, but you might appreciate it anyway. There's this local character, Chet Coppock, who is a bit of a ham. His rambling interviews (90% Chet, 10% interviewee) with various "good friends" (which was said of each interviewee) inspired a parody: a rapid-fire sports anouncer by the name of "Chet Chit-Chat." The real Chet lost his local sports anchor spot, his drivetime radio spot and his cable off-hours sports tv spot, but found a niche doing commercials for everything from home mortgages to cruises to Chinese resturants. This week Coppock turned up in the Chicago Sun-Times with a letter to the media critic/gossiper, Bob Feder:

"You're owned by half the people in this town. Do you think the world doesn't see through you? You're lost, pal. At my gig in Vegas, I make more dough in a week than you make in a year."

We've got the travel editor tracking this down for our next stay on the strip. Meanwhile, Monz visited the Uptown cafe for an Italian beef. Too liitle au jus, covered in cheese (Zippy's, home of the Cheesy Beef, R.I.P.), but surprisingly satisfying.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

You See It All Around You, Good Lunching Gone Bad!

Because a good business service is kinda like a good lover ["you've finally lost it" - staff psychologist], we at myl mourn when one of our favorite businesses goes under. Like Kozmo.com, the bike messenger delivery service that would bring you a videotape, food, sundries, and a magazine, in an hour (or anytime afterwards schedulable in-advance within a 30-minute time frame). The videos could be returned to any Starbucks(tm), including the ones downtown. Our theory is that this was a great idea that came too soon -- while many people were using the internet in the late 80's, they had dial-up service and weren't entirely comfortable yet with online purchases. Today we received an email that Infone(tm) would be closing at the end of the year. Infone cost a buck a call. They provided directory assistance as well directions and other "googlable" information (eg "What pizza places deliver to this neighborhood?"). They were quite helpful when the editors made this trip. But we were freaked out by their voice recognition system:

((sing-song infone tone))
"Hello Infone"
"Hello Editor, how can I help you?"

Freaky. Well, without our trusty infone sidekick we'll just have to be sharp, like the cheddar cheese in Monz' return-to-tenderloin tortilla wrap!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Well Monz Never!

Mark Monz would never tell you that he attended grade and high schools that did so well in the latest state/national rankings that they garner ooos and aaahs from envious suburbans and exurbans and plain-old-urbans alike. Really, he wouldn't, he doesn't get hung up on those kinds of rankings like the petty myl editorial staff. Mark Monz would never tell you that while he had seen Matt Hardy on professional wrestling and others do "The Shocker" -- a hand gesture where the index, middle and pinky fingers are extended while the ring finger is bent and meets the thumb in the palm of the big hand -- until they read about it's name and significance in Richard Roepers column today in the Sun-Times. Monz either knew or didn't care, and has little love for the Gene Siskel wannabe. Monz wouldn't sit around a crowded courtroom for an excrutiating three hours watching the Federal Circuit, siting in Chicago for their yearly traveling show, waiting with the rest of the city's patent bar for the final case (an appeal of a patent infringement suit) only to have the two lawyers tell the panel of judges that they have just reached a settlement. And while the editors might repeat a tasty lunch like the tenderloin wrap to death, Monz would vary things up and go to Kong's for a a small Hot Sour soup and a ma po tofu with steamed rice. "[Y]ummy...but not *tenderloin* yummy."

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Monz Is, We Said!

And the radio played like a carnival tune as Monz ate his lunch in the other room: In honor of today's release of the new Neil Diamond album, we engage in a little metaphysics. According to Descartes, "customs and habits" do not provide a firm ground for knowledge. His main argument for this claim is because if local customs and habits lead to conflicting beliefs about what is the case concerning the world in general, then not all of these beliefs can be true. And yet, there's more conflict in Sedona among a group of friendly wiccans celebrating the harmonic convergence than anyone could find in Monz' lunch customs. Like after an esquisite homemade lunch, staying with the tried and true! Yes, today's lunch was a rewrap of tenderloin, apple, cottagedouble with the exciting addition of an old lunch pal, carrots. All that's missing is a crunchy granola suite, if you know what we mean!

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Sincerest Form!

Years ago Mark Monz ventured to 900 North Michigan for a "wig snap" and an ultra-premium shave. Kinda like this one. We have noticed the world catching up to the Monz, for example, the ubiquitos radio ads for Sports Clips ("Guys Win!") and "The MVP", the MVP of which is the hot towel treatment followed by a razorsharp shave! Even the fashion editor is getting into the act, as over the weekend he plunked down a couple fins for the Gillette m3 electrified razor. And dayum! did it give a close shave!

It doesn't stop there. Monz goes ultrapremium for lunch with expensive leftover beef tenderloin, which Monz himself sliced paper thin, placed in a giant tortilla, added some special horseradish sauce and shapr cheddar cheese, and wrapped that wrascal! "Spectacular!" Monz pronounced it. We were inspired to go for the grilled steak sandwich at the usual place, and we didn't even know about it until we got back!

Readers Note: the travel editor left his camera at his parents house on Saturday and thus Nauvoo news will be delayed a week.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Viva El Blog!
Because the editorial staff are out on the road exploring the origins of cults in America, I am stepping in to blog my own lunch today (I hope you know this is Monz blogging!). Just a side note to say that I remember when my guest blogging was something to celebrate! Anyway . . . In honor of Cousin telling me I was Mexican food, I went back to the Genessee Restaurant and ordered three chicken tacos. Turns out there's lots of food they serve that ain't on the overhead menu! So I figured that out and ordered. I asked them if anything came with the tacos, because the paper menu said I'd get rice and refried beans (not that I'd eat a lot of lard-encrusted refried beans, but it's nice to get one's money's worth!) and I guess they misheard me beacuse I got no response and no rice and beans. Still, the tacos, once consumed, were quite yummy, but a little onion heavy. I'll go back another time and remember to tell them I don't want the onions, though I'm sure they won't hear.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Yo Quiero MonzYummyLunch!

We asked the great internet for a poll to find out what kind of food Monz would be if he was a food.

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.
What Kind of Food Are You?

What kind of lunch did Monz have? We don't exactly know: another mountain bread wrap, not buffalo chicken, so presumably just turkey.

Reader Alert
The editors will be on a road trip tomorrow that promisses to be both scenic and historic. Of course, promisses are often broken (unless Monz is making them, and he didn't). Thus, either Monz will use his spare keys to the blog, leavce lunch in the comments, or we will be back to report Monday.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Clean and Shiny!

If there is anything in this world which the Monz hates, it's secrets. In that spirit, we offer the image you see above. It had come to our attention that it is exceedingly difficult to find a picture on the internet of Ms. Roma Whitney, the original Breck(tm) girl from back in 1937. However, our super sleuths discovered that Breck trademarked her image in 1951! Roma, we salute you!

Monz also makes no secret of his lunch. "Today I am having another mountain bread wrapwich -- I am enjoying this new vibe and twist! I packed it with tavern ham, Sara Lee Buffalo chicken and turkey with a different brand of horseradish sauce. I am also dining on an apple and a breakstone cottage doubles, plus a diet rite." Monz goes onto say that future lunches may be "under wraps."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Friends of the Green Lantern!

Excerpts from a typically life-altering day at the myl offices:

Copy Editor (CE): "Yesterday I had an epiphanic experience. Like all of you, I collect a lot of ephemera, some of which I have acquired through Ebay(tm). Until a couple months ago, I had only been burned once on ebay, as a seller no less! But then I saw it -- a 4-DVD set for an old (late 80's) tv show that's not in reruns and heretofore unavailable. Indeed, I had doubts as to the item's authenticity, but the seller's feedback rating was good, so I took the $30 plunge.

And I waited.

Nothing came. I checked back with ebay to e-mail the seller and saw a dozen negative feedbacks had been left for him in the last week. Ruh-roh. A week later ebay had "de-authorized" the seller, and I figured that was the end of it.

And then yesterday my faith in humanity, if not restored, was given a powerposivibe injection! There in the mail were the DVD's! With snazzy labels and a professional-looking case! The seller remains banned and the sale was so long ago that I can't leave feedback -- he did this out of a sense of honesty and honor!"

At this point that a staff intern asked what was the tv-show in question. The CE turned pink and started reciting life coaching advice from a guy who is all about the abbadabbas. Eventually it was decided to seek advice from the Monz.

"You must tell the readers the show! And while you're at it, tell them I went back to Cosi in downtown Chicago for the first time in nearly a year for a hummus and veggie sandwich."

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